Dovina
on Shocks by Chasz Misleading
2 Jul 2004, 12:47 PM
Life is fatal.
Blobby blobby blob..?
Answer 1: 77
Answer 2: 70
May your harvest be speedily completed. Cheers.
This thing is a total piece of shit that makes absolutely no sense.
Time blahblahblahblah
like flower petals blahblahblahblah
Do you don your star trek costume and play this back on your computer voice generating program while jacking-off?
Never mix ecstasy with vodka and PBS, it always turns out ugly.
P.S. There's no such thing as time.
I love the title.
I like the beginning and the idea behind this, you go off into unfortunately, into boring redundance. the last line's a stinker, corny & preachy.
Niiiiiiiiice. The third stanza's especially beautiful.
Going for the back of beyond, nothing's gonna stop you, there's nothing that strong, so close now, you're nearly at the brink so push it...
You have taken the mundane and transformed it
into art. About as original as any poem I have
read in a long time. It takes a "leak" where it
has never gone before and somehow does so in good
taste. Womderful!
Couldn't leave it alone. It's better this way me thinks. heh.
I've never quite felt this way. Either I feel happy to be an insignificant creature in a beautiful world, or I feel sad in a world that appears ugly. Maybe you mean awestruck at your littleness compared to Nature.
An enjoyable read. Blessed with nine.
Sounds like a baby infant. Blessed with eight.
Yeh this one's cool too. Think I like the first one the best.
At first glance on the recent poemes list, I thought the title was "Love Stain". Having eagerly clicked on it, you cannot even begin to imagine my disappointment at seeing the title was actually "Love Slain", and that the poeme was rife with lines like "This love just can never be". -10-
You know, Zodiac, I always appreciate those who
take the time to critique one of my poems and you
are no exception. However, I cannot believe you
are serious in stating that "every sentence" in my
poem is "wrong." Perhaps you could enlighten me on
those sentences or concepts you deem inaccurate.
Such a blanket statement as yours needs some
specifics and you offered none but rather, a meaningless indictment backed up by nothing concrete
or even close to justify its validity.
richa: Thank you for the comments on my poem
and your belief that science and poetry are not
compatible. I do, however, disagree and think
there should be more, not less written on the
subject. One major problem when writing about
science or quantum mehanics, (cosmology), is the
difficulty in avoiding abstractions but I believe
that is acceptible considering the rich amount of
material available and the fascination we all share
for the universe and the meaning and purpose of life.
Perhaps some of my other poems are more likely to
portray this though I am sure some think my work is
generally not good or of interest. (but I try)
I like this a great deal.. but in my opinion, stanza 3 leaves a bit to be desired.. bcz i don't quite get what it means..