Dovina
on Forbidden by Chasz Misleading
5 Jul 2004, 3:24 PM
Good, especially verse 2.
I am Scornholio, I need Chippees for my Bingo, are you Stetsoning me?
"alive" at the end adds several variations
Line 2: "that draws my vision"
Good
I enjoyed the part about the master wiping his horse's ass.
You've got to be kidding! I'll give you a three just
for having the guts to post it.
Kind of like a bad soap opera. Sorry.
I am speechless. So much written to say so little.
You need to say more using an economy of words.
Well, you managed to gross me out.
A freckled gnewt on Pcp.
Fecund maggotry of the lowest rung.
If you think success is typical, you should take a look at the last 13,235 poems posted on poemranker.
Fine, but where's the rest of it? I feel strangely unsatisfied.
very good like it
I love this poem its just like the stuff that happen to me. its just so funny.
10/10
Ps. I dont mean i have a little dick
This is good. Good title.
Try removing "confined to" from "an air of vanity, thus giving her some choice.
"faltered ego" seems imprecise, maybe faulted.
Rainbows don't flicker. Other images are inaccurate of language. It's a common theme and hard to do well.
Short and sweet. Nice imagery.
Maybe it's about the Middle East.
Actually, yeast doesn't rise.
Tell me titan 69 is wrong.