horus8
on some deleted poem
27 Jul 2004, 2:09 PM
JESUS, you squelched that up.
probably the most aptly "untitled" titled poem I've seen. Maybe it re-states itself once or twice too much - but somehow, that seems appropriate.
For such a wonderful grouping of words I award you the poemranker "hamper brimming with turds". In recognition of the number of ... used in those poem I award you the poemranker "used hanky of overstatement".
length has nothing to do w/ greatness.
Great last two lines! The reversal of whom is against what took me a re-read to get. Well worth it to someone who thinks a hike is walking to the corner 7-11 instead of taking the car.
Reality can sure screw up both daydreams and wet dreams. Write on (but not while you drive)! -10-
Yeah! Yea! Yes!
Is she wearing a "white, string-theory thong bikini," S? Good tenuous thread of logic. I like it.
It seems to mean something to me, if I read it thusly,
Wake up
Sprint to burial grounds
Pool around you
let it be water
Cards have spoken
Donât wait
walls will advance
Worlds will shrink
ears will give way
Cling to a cliché
Kiss the poison as the antidote
Speak expectations to listen
Let fragrance engulf you
Did you sleep?
A poem of contradictions. Why not?
I know it would be a major grammar gaff but I hear it as "He brat, She brat, You brat, Me brat." Even so, it's endearing.
yeah, i feel this one
makes me hungry
A leaking johnny stuck to the underside of a hobo's hat. Much improved from past efforts!
Intriguing and yessir, I like it. Kind of ambivalent about "you lost me at 'c'" - reminds me of Jerry Maguire unfortunately..."You had me at 'hello'"... Lose the 2 commas, the rest is gravy. 8.
"Putty" doesn't need capitalization. Love "tank tops and yoga pants." Also, try it without the ellipese after the "Now"s.
Also, I love the title.
Don't be to sure.. wheels can become stuck and engrossed in the muck of a damp road.
Tell the truth: did you invent the term "newfound glory" yourself - perhaps while living in some cave which kept you from having to hear it almost constantly on pop radio, TV, the internet, or casual conversation?
I thought you were going to rhyme "burst" with "knockwurst", but you didn't. Also; words are not composed, music is, words are written, scrawled, memorized, spoken, sang, or RAPED, but not composed.
Interesting shuffle.