patty t
on some deleted poem
31 Jul 2004, 12:56 PM
and thank you doug!
that was a good poem...
Thanks, Dovina.
Your Friend,
Doug
Please check spelling before submitting. Thank you.
Like the beat poets of the fifties with their agendas. It's hard to wade that boring political stuff.
oh wait, it's a guy. same deal!
please peter-- take her back!
A Ranticle about god is angst that aggravates misunderstanding. Just remember the sentence. "What Would Jesus Do?" Keep in mind "We're all dying (some faster than others)." Ah there's the peace we seek. -9-
Not a new thought, but a good one. Not really a haiku either, but a good way to live.
Dear Patty:
An absolutely wonderful expose of sadness!
Your Friend,
Doug
quickly, get her back--before you have to write any more poems like these
This is so so sad, it must be a satire on so so sad. Assuming that it is, I'm giving a 9, not the 0 it would be otherwise.
"tears Flowed like a river bed"??? Riverbeds don't flow, and most of the other analogies don't work either. they seem only there for the rhymes.
correctly ascertained dovina!
when you spell it out under the hot lights of stilted prose, self-indulgent sadness loses its appeal, becoming this grotesque monstrosity of a poem. much better to be happy. (though the people who sell us pop music would not have it that way...)
the great mind of God knows what time is yes, but knows no time, God always was, always is and always will be, God created time, so to say He only helps those in the present is somewhat false... Rather, he helps those who want to be helped, who ask for it, whenever in whatever time
Obviously, your best.
Call me an oddball, I like it as-is.
My 1.287 cents? I didn't see Mr Moors' film. He's laughing all the way to the bank. did the notes get the job done?
Silk usually comes without lace and vice versa, but okay not always. What I really can't buy is not kicking off the high heels before going to sleep. Maybe you should try wearing them awhile and then see if the last line really works. Otherwise good.