wilco
on Saturn by Bachus
31 Jul 2004, 4:08 PM
holy frijoles
INSIPID Is this poem or quiz?
i.e. - "YOU CANNOT DO WITHOUT ME":
You can, it just hurts a little more.
You should get a psychotic girlfriend and then every night will be an adventure.
At least you INSIPID even your own. But I don't find it lifeless or dull, though Doctor Smellygood is a bit weird.
It's sad that the Democrats aren't even going to TRY to win this election.
It's even sadder that people are actually going to vote for Kerry, who (if it's possible) spouts more bullshit than Bush.
As for the (poem?) I'll give you a six simply for taking the time to put all this down.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
31 Jul 2004, 3:57 PM
INSIPID Why must the afterfarts be afterward?
How dare you!
"I am the Sad Bastard" not you.
Nice subtle rant. -10-
Your poems are copyrighted as soon as you put sticky finger to pad.
The misspellings and lack of punctuation may be a "style" or a "voice" the writer is trying to convey. I need more input before I judge the poet's spelling and grammar level. -5-
Yes you do have mighty wispy ears sir!
That's pretty darn sad.
Ah the delicious Surf and Turf "rump roast&fish." A meal fit for a king. Here, King. Smell the farts and eat the poet. Yummy! -9-
I realize that things get bad, sometimes, but I truly cannot understand cutters. I understand the concept, but I just really don't get it. I encourage you to change your life if you're not happy with it. As far as the poem goes, it's not very good. I have read some things by you that show promise but this is not it.
I think if I was walking through a graveyard and the dead people started talking to me, I would get my ass out of there. I've seen way too many scary movies to know that when dead shit starts talking, it's time to go. That, or maybe you just forgot to take your Risperdal this morning...I don't know.
Haiku- 17 syllables, three lines, 5-7-5.
Even though
"You can not kill a
dead man and I am not a-
fraid to die, Buddy"
has the right syllable count, it doesn't stay true to form. I hate forms.
But I like a good line to say when I'm drunk at a bar and some other poet is calling me out(to fight, not to dance). Come to think about it, it works for either happenstance.-5-
A second kiss? Not one last roll in the hay? You get the -9- points because you didn't ask for a -69- before the bombshell drops her drawers.
A good idea, but not strongly presented.
I'd like to see the ending be more definitive.
I became a mystic
They are just consumers
Led me to find myself
Trying to keep the decaying day away
As the people become more hollow
i understand ..so i like ur poem caus ei feel like the person who is in love ...try to keep the lover as close as possible ..that's was nice poem ..very good
That was a nice poem ...i like it