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Saturn (Free verse) by Bachus
I am by fire, all that's used With no restraint I leap upon muse, and ride her bloody corpse into the Sea I am the night-fall quick like that not lit among the dark and treacherous I find my meals by the nightmare and my revenge by the mouthful, sleeping. My legs are thunder, My mind the sky. I am time, and that which is written to be forgotten by men that come and go like so many missed sunsets concealed by super-cell and twilight. I think in terms of space so vast as to not be counted, perceived, or noticed. I am that planet above the sun dancing at sunrise and splitting into the eyes of the world snake. Graphing the cosmos with pyramids and reflective pools. I will number you all, and cover you with hatred. Although, that word has no meaning for you to date Against, the ways you will burn.

Up the ladder: #8
Down the ladder: Sonnet of a Young Dreamer

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.875
Weighted score: 4.8899
Overall Rank: 9907
Posted: July 29, 2004 9:38 PM PDT; Last modified: July 29, 2004 9:38 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] hobojo @ 69.140.80.80 | 29-Jul-04/9:51 PM | Reply
Not all...
[4] gregsamsa222 @ 64.12.116.70 | 29-Jul-04/11:30 PM | Reply
you've done better, and without comma splices. some phrases were very good, and i liked the feel of the poem, but've seen/read a LOT of Lord of the Rings in the past few days and was reminded too much of it. And a comic book called 'sandman'. Anyway, I usually like your stuff but this didn't do it for me.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.116.70 | 31-Jul-04/8:50 AM | Reply
Quarton would be proud, i guess.
[6] Prince of Void @ 80.253.129.130 | 31-Jul-04/3:01 PM | Reply
That was a nice poem ...i like it
[8] wilco @ 66.162.22.123 | 31-Jul-04/4:08 PM | Reply
holy frijoles
[0] deleted user @ 172.145.75.64 | 17-Sep-04/6:40 PM | Reply
Sucks,don't it?
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