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I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU (Free verse) by massangel62
you said you want to leave me you want to be with pam again I felt a stab go through my chest so deep it will never mend my heart just started bleeding it just wanted to break and die then the blood rushed to my head and my eyes began to cry my tears flowed like a river bed so bad I could not see I went into a state of sadness cause you were hurting me I couldn't eat, sleep or dream as the pain was so intense I just wanted to lay down and die I had no need for any existance then one week later to the day the pain became an ache and though i'm feeling better this can never be erased the hurt you had put me through will always stay in my mind and though i'm deeply in love with you I refuse to lay down and die I know i will get better with every passing day the goodbye kiss I had with you will forever always stay so someday when you see me sid and if my tears come through it's not because you hurt me it's because i'm still in love with you. Copyright ©2004 Michele J Post

Down the ladder: Micheal

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.25
Weighted score: 4.672192
Overall Rank: 12211
Posted: July 31, 2004 1:15 PM PDT; Last modified: July 31, 2004 1:15 PM PDT
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Comments:
[4] Dovina @ 24.52.157.176 | 31-Jul-04/1:19 PM | Reply
"tears Flowed like a river bed"??? Riverbeds don't flow, and most of the other analogies don't work either. they seem only there for the rhymes.
[3] patty t @ 24.156.158.81 | 31-Jul-04/1:25 PM | Reply
quickly, get her back--before you have to write any more poems like these
[3] patty t @ 24.156.158.81 | 31-Jul-04/1:26 PM | Reply
oh wait, it's a guy. same deal!
[2] nentwined @ 76.167.62.172 | 19-Feb-07/4:14 PM | Reply
die die die
223 view(s)




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