Any one that says metered/lyrical poetry is dead can go to the deep for all I care.

Actually... I have SARS. This is not funny.... Shame on you John Rambo! :)

ur gay

A nice nostalgia. Where is this joint?

I like embiggens. At least capitalize her name. Line 4 adds ambiguity - good. I don't know homer, would like to.

Good expression, good ideas, may they rest in peace.

I see a lyric. The first two lines being the refrain. Add to it. Really.

My gut says, this is a jump off point for what you really want to say. Sit on it.

I feel you working up to something in the first verse and then kinda fade away in the second, it needs some strength to show conviction. I like the idea of learning from an unexpected source.

perfect last line - love it when reading one that hits ya just like that.

I like it - although I'm not sure if I should.

I took the advice of my fellow poets and rewrote and submit for your comments. Thank you all.

OK, so let's try something a little different.

Part of me likes the incongruity. The other part doesn't, 'natch. Hmmm. I know cardboard burns hella fast, and burning gasoline and fire in the second-- The more I look at it the more I like it as is. Is the cardboard only there to describe you ?

Originally, I considered the title "Who's UP first". Strike out?

I'm reluctant to praise this poem with words. But it is beautiful.

The closing metaphor is very well developed. I love this concept. Where I hold no clout in the poetic society, this poem would mean so much more as a persuasive piece instead of an informative. But excellent.

wtf is this? I hope all your loved ones get into crashes.

Spare yourself the trouble. btw, are you related to God? Striking resemblance

OH EM GEE. You should submit this to Poetry.com. You would TOTALLY get this in a book!!!