Re: Dark Matter by Musicman	Musicman 192.208.44.100	4-Nov-07/1:59 AM
OK, so let's try something a little different.
Re: Flat by Skamper	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	4-Nov-07/5:38 AM
Part of me likes the incongruity. The other part doesn't, 'natch. Hmmm. I know cardboard burns hella fast, and burning gasoline and fire in the second-- The more I look at it the more I like it as is. Is the cardboard only there to describe you ?
Re: Who's on First? by Melanie Jade	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/2:42 PM
Originally, I considered the title "Who's UP first". Strike out?
Re: Uttered Things by Sasha	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/2:49 PM
I'm reluctant to praise this poem with words. But it is beautiful.
Re: a bit of theory by pete	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/2:58 PM
The closing metaphor is very well developed. I love this concept. Where I hold no clout in the poetic society, this poem would mean so much more as a persuasive piece instead of an informative. But excellent.
Re: One Past Short Sleep. by Melanie Jade	calmyourself 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/3:24 PM
wtf is this? I hope all your loved ones get into crashes.
Re: One Past Short Sleep. by Melanie Jade	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/3:26 PM
Spare yourself the trouble. btw, are you related to God? Striking resemblance
Re: A No One With A Face by calmyourself	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/3:35 PM
OH EM GEE. You should submit this to Poetry.com. You would TOTALLY get this in a book!!!
Re: Some poems by INTRANSIT	Dovina 12.22.108.229	4-Nov-07/5:42 PM
Yeah, got a few stuck the tubes. Prefer a more descriptive title; I mean describing the good ones in some cute way. Like it a lot.
Re: Flat by Skamper	Melanie Jade 216.61.132.105	4-Nov-07/5:42 PM
Recycle
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	6-Nov-07/6:45 PM
wow. that bad huh?
Re: Behind closed offices by lukehanney	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	6-Nov-07/6:47 PM
perhaps I should k.i.s.s. my pomes too.
Re: Behind closed offices by lukehanney	Skamper 58.171.135.170	6-Nov-07/7:11 PM
The rhymes a bit off...needs sorting, Ideas very easy to identify with though. I like the lightheartedness of it.
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	Skamper 58.171.138.138	6-Nov-07/7:37 PM
This rolls around a bit, lazily working ideas into place. Great descriptions, vaguely horrific ending. I thought the start was a little slow, but after reading a couple of times, it's perfect.
Re: A No One With A Face by calmyourself	Skamper 58.171.203.157	6-Nov-07/7:56 PM
A bit rough here and there...but not too bad
Re: Stroke It! by Skamper	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	7-Nov-07/6:53 AM
The word -could- gives the bards the option of doing so. "We could sing this. Nah, lets play Jarts." There may be an even better/more active/forceful word than -will or -want to. (not the first line) Give me more details about s-1-3. (Everything) is too broad a specrum, I think. Try to narrow it. Like I said to dovina, It'sa jumping off point.
regarding some deleted poem...	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/4:58 PM
well-woven rhyme, both endrhyme and internal. line 8 is a little weak, i think you could easily tighten it up. i know what you were going for with the phrase "corporal punishment," but it still seems out of place. by the last stanza i think you've lost some momentum, but overall i like the images.
Re: Stroke It! by Skamper	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:00 PM
extra points for shameless name-dropping ;)
Re: Behind closed offices by lukehanney	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:02 PM
unashamedly light fare. it's a hallmark moment.
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:06 PM
great crack about the ethics homework. are you sure you want to keep the prose-poem format though? it makes much of this piece difficult to parse.