Yeah, got a few stuck the tubes. Prefer a more descriptive title; I mean describing the good ones in some cute way. Like it a lot.

Recycle

wow. that bad huh?

perhaps I should k.i.s.s. my pomes too.

The rhymes a bit off...needs sorting, Ideas very easy to identify with though. I like the lightheartedness of it.

This rolls around a bit, lazily working ideas into place. Great descriptions, vaguely horrific ending. I thought the start was a little slow, but after reading a couple of times, it's perfect.

A bit rough here and there...but not too bad

The word -could- gives the bards the option of doing so. "We could sing this. Nah, lets play Jarts." There may be an even better/more active/forceful word than -will or -want to. (not the first line) Give me more details about s-1-3. (Everything) is too broad a specrum, I think. Try to narrow it. Like I said to dovina, It'sa jumping off point.

well-woven rhyme, both endrhyme and internal. line 8 is a little weak, i think you could easily tighten it up. i know what you were going for with the phrase "corporal punishment," but it still seems out of place. by the last stanza i think you've lost some momentum, but overall i like the images.

extra points for shameless name-dropping ;)

unashamedly light fare. it's a hallmark moment.

great crack about the ethics homework. are you sure you want to keep the prose-poem format though? it makes much of this piece difficult to parse.

what is your native language?

god damn, Shardik!!!

that is one kick ass poem, bachus. like being side swiped by a mack truck and punched in the gut.

much better than that shit slinger you wrote about the 'genius'. stick to this style here. your image mining is excellent

Change line 3/4 to a statement, drop the -how can- Line 5. change items for unusual things Cut line 7 Line 10 try -anger before pain- Cut the buts, and instead of guilt lasting forever make it hang around like a sad dog (cliche) or something else. Punch it up there. HTH.

will the real cunt please stand up....heh, cunts don't have legs, hee hee!!! you can't hide cory feldman in here. he stands out like a sore cunt!!!

Ok, lets see if we can DA and SR outa the pub long enough to declare it all false. I doubt if they sing any version of Amazing Grace.

This is good INTRANSIT. Something any good writer should be able to relate to. The rhythm seems fine to me. Nice work.