some deleted user
on some deleted poem
11 Nov 2004, 6:52 AM
No ping this didn't register.
Poetically not brilliant but it made me feel for you.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
11 Nov 2004, 6:50 AM
Some good images here line 2 is standout
ED this is a really good and touching poem. I was totally wrong about you. -9-
O.K. NOW I see that yer a Brit, Haven't voted, or commented on anything. read read read. comment, visit, learn. Welcome.
Memorable and palpable well done.
Bob Shank:
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/author.h
absolutely divine, for every time we remember, they die again. As one who lost his brother in nam, I truly appreciate this...thank you
Well done for copyrighting your colossal pile of dross. You may wish to scroll down to the bottom of the page, peer through your preposterous beardage and see that all poems are the © of their respective authors. You're truly a simpering halfwit.
What the hell is a bonner?? did you mean bonnet? or a Doner?
For general readers, the last paragraph is not needed. The value of this poem is how it relates us to our own similar feelings.
A fine Veteran's Day sentiment. "Passels" seems unnecessarily erudite. "walls of names which each had a face" -> Walls of names that once were faces.
The third verse is a bit confusing. I thought you were going to say that with your neighbor, you'd do just about anything to help, contrary to how you act at work. I wish you had.
The last line is perfect.
Little said for so many words.
Not bad, except the last line - don't get it.
The only circumstances under which I would describe a poeme as "Reflections on/after something" are circumstances of extreme jest. Yet this is no jest. With your very soul exuding conviction, you have actually begun a poeme with the dumpling: Reflections After Reading The New Testament. I suggest you go away and reflect on what you've done.
The depraved rantings of a spaz.