Dovina
on AL-NAAFIYSH by blacksoul
25 Dec 2004, 10:56 AM
In putting a familiar saying with the name AL-NAAFIYSH, are you commenting on his life or his art? I don't know enough about him to say.
I could comment on the saying, but you're getting at something here that I don't understand.
You've lost me here. Except for a few glimmers, I'm looking into darkness. What's going on?
He never found love after praying for it, believing in god raped him of belief in love (and god).
Sorry Dovina about deleteing your comment. I've got to get use to that red x damn. But it's me Felicia.
A child who is understood becomes someone who understands.I was taught that all my young life.
After hours of pondering, I've opted for theory number 1. Yes, all poets are dim and all poetry is nonesense, some are just dimer and more nonsensical than others.
Hey Zodie, lighten up...or are you still upset about that little wild goose chase I sent you on a while back... you can attack my writing all you'd like but the fact of the matter is that I could sell you ice in the North Pole if I so desired. I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
Peace
Joe
Class in glass!!!
10!!!!
A Sestina, wow!! That's real tough!! I did one today but damn, this is million times better!! Do check me out if you could!!
10!!
"Lies of Societyâs Guise" is redundant. Why not "Lies of Society."
And thus you wrote this.
Try reading some of the ridiculous comments on Poemranker. They're inspiring!
"I can't catch a single one on paper"
cute.
As my son says to me sometimes that's down -10- Felicia
Well, Lies of Society's Guies has a better rhythmic quality (this is comming from a musician). A lot catchier still in my eyes.
As a whole, if people would take the time to read this piece, I believe they'd be awed.
Really like the repetition, definitely works.
On a grammatical note, you'll need to put full stops at the end of stanzas ("skies." "its melodies."). And maybe "cobwebbed skies" would be better. I'm not sure if "cobweb skies" is really helpful to the poem, I mean, are the skies very claustrophobic to the poet? There's no sense of fear or trepidation or anything, it seems more sleepy and peaceful.
Enjoyed reading it. :)
I reduxed A Wanderlust To The New. If you'd like to reread, it's here: http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?i
Beautiful!!!
cuter