i really like this - though i cannot say i entirely relate -megan

I think you need to stop being so angry. The anger in this poem is the worst type of anger, dull anger. All this talk of in-crowd and rules, dull, dull, dull and the least said about the ending the better. The first verse was quite well constructed I thought, the poem did lose its discipline afterwards though.

not your best work, i don't feel

i really like this - and this is one of the few rhymed poems i have read that i actually enjoyed! - 9 - -megan

i really like this - not quite sure what it is but it grabs me the end is especially good - 10 - -megan

excellent - 10 - -megan

i truly enjoyed this -megan

What sort of generic claptrap do you call this? How dare you sully the mantle with such a dumpling? Go away and don't come back until you've actually come up with an idea. This is a non-poeme. -10-

to be honest i dont have any good idea what this is about, but it sounds so nice when i read (the flow of the words, not nescesarily there meanings) that i love it anyway -megan

not your best work - 6 - -megan

I'm having a bit of trouble with the metaphor here. The teacher is metaphorically holding a pistol to your head by forcing you to write. 'And then I would forge you a sword to be used against me later.' It is unclear why the effect of holding a pistol to your head would 'forge a sword' or how that sword could be used against you. The end is fine, although I missed that you wanted pushing to write first time (it seemed unexpected).

i really like this - i am usually not a fan of sonnets or rhyme for that matter but this has a strange allure -megan

i enjoyed this alot -megan

Shock endings involving tragic illness, death, are not my bag, they lack subtlety. I would also suggest that the quoted bit is made less clunky to sound more like natural speech.

That's pretty much it. God is strong, infallible, doesn't wear shoes, male. Nature is nurturing and female. Not exactly subtle though. It merely reflects beliefs held as our language evolved.

i really like this -megan

A - Age you got your first kiss: 6, a strange man at scout camp, I had to kiss him back but not on the lips. C - Crush: Superman D - Dad's name: ? E - Easiest person to talk to: The Lord, Jesus Christ F - Favorite band at the moment: Hanson, there is and never will be another. G - Gummy worms or gummy bears? Gummy bears give great head, gummy worms sounds revolting. H - Hometown: Ashby-de-la-zouch I - Instruments: Phallus J- Junior High: 6 in three hours K - Kids: Aids M - Mom's name: Patricia Lane. N - Nicknames: The Twat. Q - Quotation: "Christ's fat cock, how I ache for you."--attrib.-=Dark_Angel=-P.I. R - Reason to smile: Doing a Mexican wave at the Tsunami benefit match. S - Song you sang last: "You have our flag in your flag" to an Australian at the rugby. T - Time you woke up: 5:30 am to throw up. U - Unknown fact about me: Disabled from waist up.

-=100000000000=-

line 4: change gentle to genital and I will upgrade my 0 to a 2.

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