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Nonchalantly

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 Mar 2005 · 2 comments

Nonchalantly, she said, âIâve always had a thinner waist you and your sister do not youâre like your dad but Iâve always had quite a thin waist.â It was true: even at my thinnest point, I could barely fit into her old wedding dress which sat, wrinkled, in a box in the attic. One day, she told me I could have it which made no sense, because I was too thick Thatâs when eating began to make me sick.

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3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[7] richa 10-Mar-05/2:40 PM Reply

Shock endings involving tragic illness, death, are not my bag, they lack subtlety. I would also suggest that the quoted bit is made less clunky to sound more like natural speech.

[7] Sunny 19-Apr-06/9:41 AM Reply

I liked the way you went "nonchalantly" around your conclusion of becoming anorexic. You told the story, in a way, of the origin of this crippling disease, which I also find quite interesting. Good, clean line breaks. I liked the overall feel of it. You got your point across very clearly & had no problems whatsoever with you clarity. Your poem survived by the way you went around explaining so "nonchalantly" something that has the potential to be deadly, ironically enough. Thanks,

Sunny