Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker	zodiac 212.118.19.183	3-May-05/2:29 PM
I don't think you meant "physiological".
Re: Void by darylchew	zodiac 212.118.19.183	3-May-05/2:29 PM
You'd do better to write this without some of the punctuation: - no comma after 'letter' - no comma after 'imagination' - no semicolon after 'depicts' - no comma after 'trains' - no comma after 'story' Go ahead, tell me you did it on purpose.
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 131.251.0.55	3-May-05/2:29 PM
tip-don't use 2 for 'to'. People get irate at that. Hence why zodiac is being so tactful. Spend a bit more time checking the typos, it makes it far less painful for the reader. 7
Re: Next time by Billy Fights	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The second stanza rocks my world, a cliche, I know, but really, very very good. Maybe de-mystify the third stanza for us underlings, and also revise to lowercase the beginnings of lines that permit it. 9.6
Re: Next time by Billy Fights	Ranger 131.251.0.55	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Im surprised you classed this as a pimple - its far better than that, and the mere utterance of said spotty poetry turns a lot of people here off. 9
Re: Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The annual Oshkosh fly-in? Just wondering.
Re: Actor by horus8	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Sorry we couldn't meet fer a minute while I was out there. Bidness is bidness, right?
Re: Dance Of Insanity by forsaken	eliznhaz 65.246.232.101	3-May-05/2:29 PM
you need to put more peoms back on
Re: There's no point by LosT SykoPath	eliznhaz 65.246.232.101	3-May-05/2:29 PM
wow this is an excellent poem
Re: Cast a shadow. by darby pyn	fevriere 62.254.128.7	3-May-05/2:29 PM
No complaints. Hit between eyes and loss of all critical function. Thus this poem gets love.
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	fevriere 62.254.128.7	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Yeah. Not at all bad for a topical verse.
Re: Actor by horus8	fevriere 62.254.128.7	3-May-05/2:29 PM
I didn't like the final stanza. But I DID like the first few.
Re: Get Out Of My Life by Brittanyy	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
"Pimple" Look up the defintion in poem types. -4- until it gets the right classification. <3 Jason
Re: Love without end by windyone	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
"Pimple" look up the definition in the poem type. A -3- because it's painfully cliche. <3 Jason
Re: Void by darylchew	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The first two lines, were losing me, but by the last verse I really I was blown away. "You read me a story, of true love in a false land; but aren't we vulnerable when we're on our own?" Love that line. Enough to be a 10. <3 Jason
Re: Just Another Poem by Damien	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
I'm a big fan of Math and Logic. However this is good stuff. -8- <3 Jason
Re: Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The first verse I think could use a little more effort put into the meter. Everything else seems to flow naturally, written to be read out loud. Interesting Story telling. -9- <3 Jason
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Politics + Your Head = Gold I assume this is about some British Election coming up?
Re: Actor by horus8	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	3-May-05/2:29 PM
By the end, I feel as though we've lost the original point. what is "fuck, a beard and a bow?" Is that the voice of the child, realizing the difficulty of pulling that off? And the story about the man...I guess I din't read that book...
Re: Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	3-May-05/2:29 PM
1. I don't understand your choice of link breaks, to me it reads very erratically. 2. You are trying to make a point, which you could do in something that was half as long. 3. Rather than just spout them off. Think about how your individual words sound. Think about making this a POEM. Not bad for a start, with some editing, I think you'd have something.