| Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
9-May-05/7:35 PM |
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'From having gay sex with a man'.
All my life I've been asking men: "Am I having gay sex with you, or hetero sex?"
By the way; does Nature still fabricate amoebae like Blindproject217? Gasp.
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| Re: Gone Forever (in loving memory of a teacher) by Princess_Snowflake |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
9-May-05/8:09 PM |
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No, this is not exellente. The problem with Memorials like this one, is that it only moves the author and acquaintances of this teacher. Outsiders who read this don't give a damn. And that's what the poem should do: make people who don't know anything about this man and his (presumely untimely) death, CARE. I wonder; what made him so very 'around'? What made him so unforgettable? What's his 'wonderful legacy'? There is not a thing you shed light on, all you present here is a list of facts, a bunch of platitudes. It's totally devoid of a personal view, it does not give an image of this man, except the impression that he must have come close to being the next Jesus. You sob and cry, Princess, and you don't tell me why.
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| Re: Waiting to be Consumed by Alizarin_Crimson |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
9-May-05/8:23 PM |
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This is fun, but also a bit nauseating. The last four lines are very nice. The first one is a bit confusing because all of a sudden SHE appears to be a desert as well...
'
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
9-May-05/8:35 PM |
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I'm not quick on logistics so it took me a while to grasp the Poemranker voting system. My god. Who showered me with 10 points? I'll give you all my airmiles! And my Kevin Bacon nudies collection on the side!
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| Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker |
jessicazee 152.163.100.135 |
10-May-05/12:45 AM |
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I like the way your words resonate, but, okay, really, I am totally confused. It seems so personal...so much so that most readers can't/won't be able to relate. Maybe the point? Liked it anyway. 8.2
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| Re: Finding Gin and Santa by richa |
jessicazee 152.163.100.135 |
10-May-05/12:52 AM |
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I read this out loud to myself. I'm lovin' it.
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| Re: Dying breed by INTRANSIT |
jessicazee 152.163.100.135 |
10-May-05/12:55 AM |
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I want shorter lines, a hyphenated "broken eared," love "docking ballets." Didn't quite get the jist, unfortunately. Give me some more meat. 8.4
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
jessicazee 152.163.100.135 |
10-May-05/1:18 AM |
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Loving so much right now the 2nd stanza "yellow sodium" and later "tumbling/muffin" !!!!! 10!
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| Re: My Best Friend, 1985 by jessicazee |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:17 AM |
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This poem is remarkably like My Life in the MidEast, 2005.
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| Re: Waiting to be Consumed by Alizarin_Crimson |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:19 AM |
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This was good, right up to "She is a blander confection".
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| Re: Gone Forever (in loving memory of a teacher) by Princess_Snowflake |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:20 AM |
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"He was around when he was alive"
What exactly does that mean?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:20 AM |
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Make some of these into real sentences.
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| Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:29 AM |
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Dear Christ.
You can't say "Now thy will hold everything". You can say, "Now thou willest hold everything", or "Now thou wilst hold everything", or "Now thy will holds everything". But you probably shouldn't.
Also, "strikith" should be "striketh". And why are you talking like some drunken Cotton Mather?
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| Re: stumbling into love by sungoesdown |
zodiac 213.186.177.137 |
10-May-05/3:30 AM |
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"stumling" should be "stumbling".
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| Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone |
Hallmark 129.12.235.73 |
10-May-05/10:11 AM |
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Is line 6 a call to all bearded people.
Beards can be weighty can't they
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
10-May-05/11:14 AM |
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Putting a poet in charge of an open mic reading is the most irresponsible act ever conceived. These events should be controlled rigorously by the government.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
10-May-05/11:24 AM |
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The best line is "the night seethed with truth and lies"
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63 |
10-May-05/11:27 AM |
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Was it the AIDS?
Or a rare de-bearding?
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| Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone |
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63 |
10-May-05/11:29 AM |
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I once struck down upon my vagina with the furry of cotex, staunching the vile bile that creepeth forth.
thank god my clitoris was wearing a helmet.
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| Re: Finding Gin and Santa by richa |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
10-May-05/11:47 AM |
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Funny, mocking the séance, but not to some.
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