Re: Dying breed by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/12:06 PM
Either everyone is misinterpreting this or I am. We have here, as I see it, a political statement in favor of truck drivers with some poetry added, and pretty good poetry to boot. I think you could lose the last two lines.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	10-May-05/12:16 PM
I just viewed the Help section and saw that a maximum of three poems a week is decent. I'm sorry for flooding.
Re: The cry of the Locust by nothingtoanyone	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/12:59 PM
Overwritten for what it says. Why introduce the King James English? The last line is good.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:08 PM
"mother naked" It's understated, as a political statment should be. You have not abused the system because you get four poems for being new. From here on out, you can only post once in 48 hours.
Re: Lake Michigan by jessicazee	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:16 PM
I don't see how the weatherman forces you to trust. It's all about probabilities. Also, Doppler is a short-time-range tool and does little to predict "rain all week." "gladdened cancer tales" is good.
Re: Anniversary by Hallmark	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:24 PM
This is very funny. It may not sell many cards, but it's good.
Re: May Flowers by oneglove	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/1:37 PM
Is it about some May flowers visible in the neon lights at night, and worth the drive?
Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222	oneglove 67.96.13.98	10-May-05/5:05 PM
this story really drew me in, though like youve said there are parts that could use revision. i understand though, sometimes its more important just to get it all down than to perfect each phrase.
Re: My Life by sleeping monk	Dovina 69.175.32.185	10-May-05/5:33 PM
I don't think of my life in the comfortable times between being awake.
Re: a 9,000.00$ Philippine script treatment by Shardik	DarkThirteens 68.184.162.14	10-May-05/6:58 PM
Is this a poem??
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	10-May-05/7:01 PM
...and it's coming closer as we say, every day but never believe...
Re: Spirit In a Temple by peaceseeker	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	10-May-05/9:01 PM
There are way too many intagible elements in here. I want something concrete, something that exists literally, to grab onto. More of the sweat and blood stuff, throughout.
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	11-May-05/4:05 AM
This is a very good piece. However I am concerned about your fascination with middle age, are you trying to make yourself feel happier about the onset of drooping and the ceasing of your monthlies?
Re: a 9,000.00$ Philippine script treatment by Shardik	zodiac 212.118.19.234	11-May-05/4:59 AM
This is excellent. I might possibly give head to see a good movie about Filipinos.
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.234	11-May-05/6:09 AM
I find relationships a more-certain way to have sex more often, and at minimal cost. Am I just that young?
Re: Man Enough For Me by mystic enoch	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	11-May-05/5:04 PM
It's me! I'm here! Nope. My shoe's untied. I guess I'm disqualified.
Re: Mid Years by Dovina	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	11-May-05/5:18 PM
I knew that. I'll be posting a beeg wun monday morning. Make sure you have a comic book in your shorts. It's gonna be Krrraken. I'm.....al...most.....home....erghk.
Re: My Best Friend, 1985 by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	11-May-05/5:20 PM
I'm sure it reads fast for a reason but it also reads like a list. Take some 120 grit to it.
Re: My Random Girl by Miggy	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	11-May-05/5:57 PM
This better have an extreeeme catchy melody... Thanks for bringing the memory of The Turtles back. A very nice band from the era when boyz were still boys
Re: Covering the white house by INTRANSIT	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	11-May-05/6:09 PM
There's definitely a Fabulous Furried Freak Brothers charm here.