Re: On the Bank of Lake Michigan by jessicazee	unknown^user 128.196.6.126	12-May-05/8:49 AM
good imagery
Re: The Observer by Jeremi B. Handrinos	unknown^user 128.196.6.126	12-May-05/8:51 AM
*belief instead of believe Comes off as somewhat pretentious, and loses its focus somewhat in the third part (after "because they are the same").
Re: Covering the white house by INTRANSIT	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/11:45 AM
Somehow the title and the last line are alien to to the rest. Otherwise funny.
Re: On the Bank of Lake Michigan by jessicazee	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/12:03 PM
Is an alwife a fish that spawns on the beach of Lake Michigan? The last line needs some help.
Re: The Observer by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/12:10 PM
It tackles too many topics in the second half to be strong in any of them. Would do better to stick with the "I can influence the future" theme.
Re: sixth and highland by unknown^user	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/12:14 PM
I don't get it.
Re: Homecoming by Dovina	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:03 PM
Always a super feeling when you escape without waking them up.
Re: On the Bank of Lake Michigan by jessicazee	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:08 PM
I like it. Could be better...I don't know exactly. I'll leave it to you...It's good as it is...or make it great.
Re: Lake Michigan by jessicazee	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:17 PM
Not near as good as the other Lake Michigan one.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:20 PM
I'm not sure why I like it...I do, but I'm not sure why...short-haired chest line bothers me for some reason...
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:31 PM
Kind of makes sens in a nonsensey sort of way...I think you could put quotes around the parts where they're talking to help it read a little easier.
Re: White by Enkidu	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:34 PM
This doesn't make a lot of sense and the rhymes seem forced...sorry.
Re: My Best Friend, 1985 by jessicazee	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:39 PM
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you....
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	12-May-05/6:41 PM
So...people go...and read their poetry...on a microphone...to other people...what'll they think of next?!
Re: Homecoming by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	12-May-05/7:25 PM
The third stanza is a bit out of place and actually redundant. Unless the significance of 'errant' escaped me? I read the last stanza two ways. Morbid me.
Re: Lifted by wilco	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/7:26 PM
The hidden "she" in the last verse gives it an undeveloped twist.
Re: Lifted by wilco	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	12-May-05/7:27 PM
There are nice touches here, like line 8 and the telephone. Unfortunately too many buts and whats and so's
Re: Blue by D. $ Fontera	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	12-May-05/7:35 PM
with Can't it would read more fluent. Same with sometimes for things I should avoid but: 'sometimes for things to avoid but'
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	12-May-05/7:44 PM
Infuriating when a glossy 8 gets besmirched by a So-so vote, for which no further motivation is given. But probably my disposition is now showing
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.32.185	12-May-05/8:05 PM
I like the dreamy feel of this. I think "t h e r e" is unnecessary, italics or not. And after "your task" it seems a dash would bre better than a semicolon. In the last verse, it seems They should be they. The two "look"s should omit the comma, I think, for consistency.