Re: untitled by Spitfire07	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	4-Jun-05/5:46 PM
Cool lyrics...by the way..thanks for the 10:)!!
Re: Vote Goats by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/5:55 PM
Thank you all for your comments. Some classier than others. It was a poem I penned out quickly in response to those who would rather insult you than help you.
Re: Bunnies crazy inlove by kev_wannabe	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	4-Jun-05/5:58 PM
It would make a good song though.
Re: i'm bad at waiting by silvertongueddevil	Spitfire07 172.132.8.25	4-Jun-05/6:16 PM
I like it... I can relate to this.. a lot of people can
Re: Lost by Spitfire07	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	4-Jun-05/7:00 PM
I like the rhyming in the poem. It really enhanced the fact that you're trying to tell the readers how this person is lost. Keep up the good work^^!!
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.5.34	5-Jun-05/10:17 PM
Do you mean "hoped"?
Re: Always Forever by Princess_Snowflake	Dovina 12.72.5.34	5-Jun-05/10:19 PM
How long is "almost a few years"? How long is "always forever"?
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/3:45 AM
Five lines, fourteen words. We all make typors, but an author can check this batch in a nanosecond. By not doing this you show contempt for your readers.
Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/3:53 AM
>>Sun rises a ball of red<< But he's heading for a descent, right? Why not 'sun swells a ball of red'? Better alliteration to 'afternoon' and 'valley' this way. The second part shows quite strong images.
Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/5:16 AM
Do you mean "comes summer's answer" or "come summer's answers"? Or is there another subject somewhere I haven't noticed? Would you consider dropping the last line? I liked it the first time, though. Really. The title made me think of both the actual Smoky Mountains, in my home part of the world, and the Rocky Mountains of the song. Neither of which are referenced in the poem. PS-I do wish you'd stop taking Shuushin's word about end-line punctuation. PPS-Very good, overall.
Re: Vote Goats by ALChemy	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/5:59 AM
If I told you my name is John Updike, would that make a difference? Yes, you'd say, Ha ha, more like 'Up Johndick'. Real mature. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:01 AM
Good but for knowing it's a silly punchline with poem attached. At least you're writing about real culture now. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:02 AM
I'd like to submit that you really meant 'joped'. And it makes more sense that way.
Re: no rashes by calliope	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:03 AM
How unfortunate for you. My initials actually are B.I.C.
Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:05 AM
Except for "pretends only he be humble", which is incomprehensible, the best oldey talk you've ever written.
Re: fireflies die too by hendrimike	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:06 AM
its hope. No apostrophe.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:07 AM
Nice. assistent should be assistant.
Re: Carte Blanche by ALChemy	zodiac 194.165.132.42	6-Jun-05/6:08 AM
Please try to not post comments explaining your poems. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	6-Jun-05/8:23 AM
Its' so much fun to do things like -non sense-! I love splitting words or slamming them together to change meaning. Too fun.
Re: Dovecote by zodiac	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/8:36 AM
Had to fumble with my interpretation mode...I did my best, but this simply isn't my kind of teacup. A windblown story, a chaotic 'poem'. I hope the last line does not express regret over not having had an abortion, it would be too much... I'm probably way off. Am I oldfashioned? Yes, I'm oldfashioned.