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CommentsComments 11861–11880 back. Include replies to comments

xxx on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 8:45 AM
closer
xxx on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 8:46 AM
really?
Dan garcia-Black on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina 6 Jun 2005, 8:52 AM
The real differnce between the first stanza and the second is what the people at each place are seeing. In the second stanza all of us in LA are watching the bloody, red sun on television. Who goes outside in LaLaLand before sunrise? Oh yeah, sanitation workers, hookers going home to shootup and go to sleep and cops. Personally, I Tivo the 6 AM news just to see the sun.
xxx on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 8:53 AM
Sneer!?
some deleted user on To you by sk8rs_rule_all 6 Jun 2005, 9:49 AM
This is about loving someone. But WHERE is the love? I don't see it. All I see is the statement of a fact. 'Love, love me do You know I love you I'll always be true So please love me do'... Lennon/McCartney did in fact a much lousier job, so don't let it get you down, oké?
some deleted user on misplaced by FreeFormFixation 6 Jun 2005, 11:33 AM
Finally a luv poem with guts.
Dental Panic on Dovecote by zodiac 6 Jun 2005, 11:43 AM
I really start to like your stuff. It keeps me reading. I’ve read this, using the ‘distraction’ poem as a kind of key – how to concentrate time, guess I’m sounding a bit pretentious here but who cares.
some deleted user on no rashes by calliope 6 Jun 2005, 11:49 AM
This isn't so bad. Hold on to the idea and try for a different approach.
some deleted user on he's leaving by eliznhaz 6 Jun 2005, 12:45 PM
'It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, You would cry too if it happened tohoo youououou' (1963; a couple of months later) 'And now it's Judy's turn to cry Judy's turn to cry Judy's turn to cry-ay-ayyyy cause Johnny's come baaaack to me'
Dovina on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 3:05 PM
"o won't she" > or won't she I hope to be.
Dovina on Dovecote by zodiac 6 Jun 2005, 3:14 PM
The prodigious punctuation is distracting. Shorter lines with half as many : " , etc., would be more readable. It rambles too much for "free verse." Prose poem maybe. Still, a good story.
lil_evil_boi on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 4:37 PM
Oopz...a typo there. Thanks for reminding me! I will be more cautious next time.
some deleted user on he's leaving by eliznhaz 6 Jun 2005, 3:32 PM
Such a bastard, I am.. Allright- let me show you what one can do with a subject like this. 'I am counting the days I am waiting for the moment when I'm going to have to stay in this place where you will be no longer moving moving away from me without fading I am counting your smiles I already hunger for the ones that soon will be gone except the one preserved with photographical sharpness in my mind longing longing already for the rest of you crying' If you're interested to know: it cost me 45 minutes, 3 revisions and 8 corrections and I made a mess of the rhyme. But nobody ever said that poetrywriting is easy. By the way; one of La Gore's mid-sixty recordings was called 'Moving away'... I hope she won't drag me to court.
untamed_fierce on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 4:53 PM
Awesome...I love it!
untamed_fierce on Snow by lil_evil_boi 6 Jun 2005, 4:54 PM
I like the rhyming of the poem. It really spice the poem up! Godd job.
untamed_fierce on Best Friends by lil_evil_boi 6 Jun 2005, 4:54 PM
OMG...i love your poems! More!
sacred_poet_me on Heaven or Hell by lil_evil_boi 6 Jun 2005, 4:56 PM
Spectacular...
sacred_poet_me on True Love by lil_evil_boi 6 Jun 2005, 4:57 PM
Excellent...yet a few rough spots. Overall great~
sacred_poet_me on Where I'm From by lil_evil_boi 6 Jun 2005, 4:57 PM
Love it!
sacred_poet_me on some deleted poem 6 Jun 2005, 5:19 PM
Nice nice nice nice nice!