regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.164.242.151	6-Jun-05/8:45 AM
closer
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.164.242.151	6-Jun-05/8:46 AM
really?
Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.247	6-Jun-05/8:52 AM
The real differnce between the first stanza and the second is what the people at each place are seeing. In the second stanza all of us in LA are watching the bloody, red sun on television. Who goes outside in LaLaLand before sunrise? Oh yeah, sanitation workers, hookers going home to shootup and go to sleep and cops. Personally, I Tivo the 6 AM news just to see the sun.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.164.242.151	6-Jun-05/8:53 AM
Sneer!?
Re: To you by sk8rs_rule_all	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/9:49 AM
This is about loving someone. But WHERE is the love? I don't see it. All I see is the statement of a fact. 'Love, love me do You know I love you I'll always be true So please love me do'... Lennon/McCartney did in fact a much lousier job, so don't let it get you down, oké?
Re: misplaced by FreeFormFixation	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/11:33 AM
Finally a luv poem with guts.
Re: Dovecote by zodiac	Dental Panic 84.31.86.195	6-Jun-05/11:43 AM
I really start to like your stuff. It keeps me reading. I’ve read this, using the ‘distraction’ poem as a kind of key – how to concentrate time, guess I’m sounding a bit pretentious here but who cares.
Re: no rashes by calliope	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/11:49 AM
This isn't so bad. Hold on to the idea and try for a different approach.
Re: he's leaving by eliznhaz	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/12:45 PM
'It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to, cry if I want to, cry if I want to, You would cry too if it happened tohoo youououou' (1963; a couple of months later) 'And now it's Judy's turn to cry Judy's turn to cry Judy's turn to cry-ay-ayyyy cause Johnny's come baaaack to me'
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.32.185	6-Jun-05/3:05 PM
"o won't she" > or won't she I hope to be.
Re: Dovecote by zodiac	Dovina 69.175.32.185	6-Jun-05/3:14 PM
The prodigious punctuation is distracting. Shorter lines with half as many : " , etc., would be more readable. It rambles too much for "free verse." Prose poem maybe. Still, a good story.
Re: he's leaving by eliznhaz	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	6-Jun-05/3:32 PM
Such a bastard, I am.. Allright- let me show you what one can do with a subject like this. 'I am counting the days I am waiting for the moment when I'm going to have to stay in this place where you will be no longer moving moving away from me without fading I am counting your smiles I already hunger for the ones that soon will be gone except the one preserved with photographical sharpness in my mind longing longing already for the rest of you crying' If you're interested to know: it cost me 45 minutes, 3 revisions and 8 corrections and I made a mess of the rhyme. But nobody ever said that poetrywriting is easy. By the way; one of La Gore's mid-sixty recordings was called 'Moving away'... I hope she won't drag me to court.
regarding some deleted poem...	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:37 PM
Oopz...a typo there. Thanks for reminding me! I will be more cautious next time.
regarding some deleted poem...	untamed_fierce 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:53 PM
Awesome...I love it!
Re: Snow by lil_evil_boi	untamed_fierce 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:54 PM
I like the rhyming of the poem. It really spice the poem up! Godd job.
Re: Best Friends by lil_evil_boi	untamed_fierce 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:54 PM
OMG...i love your poems! More!
Re: Heaven or Hell by lil_evil_boi	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:56 PM
Spectacular...
Re: True Love by lil_evil_boi	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:57 PM
Excellent...yet a few rough spots. Overall great~
Re: Where I'm From by lil_evil_boi	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/4:57 PM
Love it!
regarding some deleted poem...	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	6-Jun-05/5:19 PM
Nice nice nice nice nice!