Re: The Giant Verse by drnick	Bethy 24.222.32.247	20-Aug-05/2:38 PM
this is great...Bethy :)
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 68.49.8.49	20-Aug-05/11:16 PM
A bit too angsty for my taste, a bit like a suicidal teenager at 1:00 a.m.
Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/6:37 AM
Powerful, could use some tighter language. But powerful
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Aug-05/9:06 AM
I have never seen a Verlaine. And I almost didn't post because of the quality of this piece. I agree with Shuush.Only more quality can help us all out of the swamp.
Re: Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Aug-05/9:21 AM
In order to understand poetry more , may I ask: What is the purpose of translating a poem which has been translated probably more than once? In the meantime, it pleases my ears and thanks for introducing me to ANOTHER poet whom I shall probaly never understand were it not for translations. Voting in this case seems futile without being able to read Italian. 10
Re: Night Shift by ALChemy	Bethy 24.222.32.237	21-Aug-05/10:32 AM
EXCELLENT!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/10:32 AM
It feels like your telling too much and not showing enough
Re: GIRL IN THE RED DRESS by prettyktm	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/10:35 AM
Good job, feels like you could do more with expressive and novel language, but the poem did its job very well and there are some beautiful places.
Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	21-Aug-05/10:48 AM
Something's wrong in the last stanza. i'm no grammmarian but it just doesn't make sense to me. Sorry I can't help more than that.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/11:17 AM
The first and second line are a little disconnected. Change "lands" to something like "events" and it will connect without the reader having to pause on the first read to figure out the setting. Plus "events" would allow you to keep the implied rhyme. By "masks" do you mean masquerade? If so spelling it "masque" would have made it easier to identify. I like the assonance of "song and calm" in stanza 2 and "calm and long" in stanza 3 and all the other places too. The last stanza has that E. A. Poe style line repetition so I'm guessing you read a lot of Poe too. 2 more lines and you got yourself a sonnet. You've pretty much nailed the traditional style. I only wish I had that much restraint.
Re: American Semele (Edit) by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/11:37 AM
Doesn't sound american. More like Emily Bronte's great, great, great grand daughters response to something she saw on Oprah. But very well written in the aesthetic sense. In many ways I envy you.
Re: GIRL IN THE RED DRESS by prettyktm	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/12:02 PM
Did she tell him all these things before or after she tossed his salad? Kudos for making whore-sex so romantic. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Aug-05/12:11 PM
You fucked up the "This old man" rhyme scheme. This makes you look uneducated even at the preschool level.
Re: Salvatore Quasimodo: Agrigentum Road by Sasha	Bethy 24.222.32.200	21-Aug-05/12:16 PM
Lets read something you wrote...and not a translation...I know this is written in your words, and it is a great...but lets see your own work...:) Bethy
Re: Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/1:07 PM
Good, except for the soppy parts about love and friendship and being there when you're down. It may be what you feel, but objectively it weakens the strength of the poem. 8 for overall quality
Re: Mystical Chinese Dragon by that_funny_girl	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.148.148	21-Aug-05/1:44 PM
Congratulations! You've won the prize for most arbitrary line break of the month! (It's the one between 'and I' and 'would frolic in the park')
Re: Smells by the_poetess	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.148.148	21-Aug-05/1:51 PM
A tissue of lies from start to finish, the crescendo being your staggering claim that Asian food smells nice. No Asian thing smells nice, because by definition that thing is coated in a thick layer of Brown.
Re: tanka(4) by shadows	Sasha 68.49.8.49	21-Aug-05/3:53 PM
very contemporary with the flavor of the japanese masters. nice
Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha	7!3 219.95.12.137	21-Aug-05/6:11 PM
yea, i like the first verse, too... i think your poem could've been better.... coz i LOVE kayaking!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	poodietat 70.58.251.130	21-Aug-05/6:14 PM
How much better was poemranker when this junk was gone. Same drivel, same forced language. Anyone wanna place bets how long before she screws this guy and claims he raped her? Her last two false accusations were in August, so that's the smart money this year too. (Happy anniversary - did daddy do you in August? remember when he came from behind?) When will this awkward girl learn, if you don't break patterns you're doomed to repeat them. How many more lives will she destroy? How many more times will she post this same poem on poemranker. Cutting is the only thing that makes her happy. Feel the blade, feel the blood dripping and making you feel real. Go deep, go deeper. Keep cutting until the pain goes away, then cut some more. Feel the blood leave your body, let your troubled soul float to God. There's no other way out for you, it's God's plan for you. Cut and be with God.