Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	sliver 172.194.213.172	21-Aug-05/11:54 PM
A vivid picture, I felt it all the way through.I've tried three times tonight, just can't write. Sooo, this is what I would do with this. If you like all or any, welcome. What voice could sing in joy of death Each leaf as it withers and dies fluttering down to mingle with the soil keeping it's host alive. this fitting requiem
Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	22-Aug-05/12:06 AM
I agree with Zodiac the last two lines of verse 2 say pretty much the same thing as verse 1. Otherwise it's good.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.25.123	22-Aug-05/9:53 AM
From such wonderments come religion, notions of reincarnation, and calling up the dead. I think most of it is little more than what you gescribe here. Good poem. But why the ...'s
Re: Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	Dovina 12.72.25.123	22-Aug-05/9:59 AM
The most religious thing I've seen from you. What gives? I Like it a lot.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.25.123	22-Aug-05/10:06 AM
Too whimsical and non-specific for my taste, as if drunk on a quest, but it has some good thoughts.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	22-Aug-05/10:06 AM
Tribbles and squids? I'm not sure that's a good Idea. This is fun , except when it starts to go rapp-y.
Re: Night Shift by ALChemy	Dovina 12.72.25.123	22-Aug-05/10:15 AM
Good description. A few unnecessary words, I think. For example, "My senses being woven into cocoons" could be "senses woven into cocoons"
Re: Pity Her by Dovina	Stephen Robins 84.13.42.24	22-Aug-05/10:51 AM
no
Re: Night Shift by ALChemy	Stephen Robins 84.13.42.24	22-Aug-05/10:52 AM
Immense.
Re: Pity Her by Dovina	Bethy 24.222.32.230	22-Aug-05/2:04 PM
one shot after another...the pistol being the drink...am I anywhere close...:) Bethy
Re: Pity Her by Dovina	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	22-Aug-05/5:21 PM
Not sure I should. Don't know why she's upset, exactly.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.22.202	22-Aug-05/5:28 PM
I do appreciate the intended kindness extended toward me in this time of trouble. To be comforted to this degree of sweetness during a supposed affliction with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD), a rare and fatal neurodegenerative disorder of unknown cause, carries a marked degree of gratification. The MOOOOOOOO at the end adds an affectionate touch, as if written by a bull being sucked by a deviant calf. I know where your heart is, so perhaps a more tender metaphor. Regards, Dovina
Re: Dear Lord, by INTRANSIT	zodiac 212.118.19.227	22-Aug-05/11:52 PM
This is good. Drop the "thee".
Re: Pity Her by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.227	22-Aug-05/11:53 PM
Not in the least.
Re: Pity Her by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	23-Aug-05/1:26 AM
Don Quixote, The Thinker, Jacob and now her. It's nice to see depression not of the teenage variety.
Re: Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	23-Aug-05/2:11 AM
First I loved "fucked on the floor." (says it all) and the double meaning of "tenterhooks". Shouldn't it be "THE rabbit ears" unless you have more then one set. "into the dawning world" is the only somewhat cliche line in an otherwise clicheless poem. This poem reminds me of an even sadder moment in my life. I may just might write about it now. Thanks for inspiring me. -9-
Re: Toy Story by whispern_smoke_wisp	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	23-Aug-05/2:50 AM
Stay off the acid kid.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	23-Aug-05/2:55 AM
Thank god someone knows what a prose poem is. Needs more emotion, less rambling.
Re: Leaving the Woods House by zodiac	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	23-Aug-05/5:54 AM
This suggests I tried too hard on that last and only sonnet of mine. Fine by me.
Re: Letter from Palermo by Caducus	INTRANSIT 152.163.100.67	23-Aug-05/6:08 AM
Jeez, Cad. Why do I get the feeling that Giuseppe and Grand Papa are different men? Good morning? Good evening?