Oh my goodness! Belay that, I feel I have no goodness. What a romp! I want to ask if it's fiction, but won't.

Yep, it's hard to keep silent. I can feel it! Mostly well said.

A) Points for "groovy" B) not "naughty bits" instead "bubbies" C) Nice switch at the end

you nut.

So, how is that big white Wookie of a father of yours? Aint seen'im around lately.

sexual outer space is horrible. It brings to mind that Sublime song "Date Rape"... I think it could be shortened and made a little less detailed to be more effective.

yeah, what the ohers said.

what?

It seems at first that an Ode could not also be a Pimple. It seems also that wit should be with. Then, "note" seems it should be a written note following "runes." If it's a musical note, then "dual" could better be "tied eighth notes" and "tripple" "triplets," and "peak" "crescendo." I'd drop "that" from "that I can control." I think it is neither ode nor pimple, but free verse. The first verse is good.

A few suggestions: put the apostrohe before the s in "summers'"; say more about the girl - what does she look like?; use the word "linger" only once, twice makes me not listen. What I love: "All of the cars, black as they pass by your house"; "Satellites ride across the heavens like stars". 8.7

For months now I've been longing for a compendium of your comments, so when this gem oozed its way onto the Most Recent list I could scarcely contain my delight. Each painstakingly selected comment had me doubled up in fits of laughter. It's as if you've trawled through every comment you've ever written, and only chosen the ones that were really, really funny! You should get this published! Have you tried poetry.com?

How dare you sully us with the lurid details of your repulsive love life? You're a disgusting harlot who knows no shame. Get off this site. -0-

Your original work is usually pretty good, and this is no exception, but your stuff always seems so pretentious. I guess it's just the way you write...carry on.

Super. reminds me of early Beck

Not your best work, but I like it. Hey, I'm back...isn't everyone glad!

the end saved it.

Is this about having a heart attack? Shorten it to about half the length and you might have something.

made subtle changes

I agree that the nickel sounds a bit odd. Maybe you could say coin...or put your change in the machine...maybe that would work..otherwise pretty good overall... There's a couple of places that are a little inconsistent and could be a problem if you put it to music...but maybe not...depending on what kind of a song you want it to be.

Pretty and a good translation but once again, I just don't think you should get votes for a translation. I stand by it and don't vote.