Re: Emily Gray by Enkidu	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	29-Aug-05/2:41 AM
Don't use "hath" in this poem. The rest sounds good.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sasha 68.49.8.49	29-Aug-05/2:52 AM
Riddled with clichés and full of the early teenage wrangling I've read before in a dozen mediocre poems. Please, use your poem as a way to make your experience appear unique, not as a way to make it seem the same as others.
Re: Quevedo: Psalm by Sasha	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	29-Aug-05/2:53 AM
A Psalm and a Sonnet. Unique. Although I can't see how this supposed psalm praises god. Nice trans. though.
Re: 8/29 by cronus	Sasha 68.49.8.49	29-Aug-05/2:54 AM
Points for sincerity and novelty. Minus for the i and for not going anywhere with the idea.
Re: Jack by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	29-Aug-05/4:56 AM
I think a period after "snowflake" and losing the comma after "warm" and "returned" might clarify things. Is the last line missing a word or maybe "ed" at the end of "dwell". It's a good little love poem. Jack is either a rebound lover or Jack Frost? Hell Jack could even be the dog. But if you were to tell me that Jack was the name of your vibrator I'd piss my pants laughing and proclaim you super-genius.
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	29-Aug-05/5:51 AM
Ha! Universe inside the mind ! Love it !
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	Bethy 24.222.32.236	29-Aug-05/11:12 AM
Ahhh...is that what it looks like in there...excellent...:) Bethy
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	Dovina 12.72.26.65	29-Aug-05/11:59 AM
You've got some great images here. mind's eye brain's gray matter
Re: Emily Gray by Enkidu	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135	29-Aug-05/3:54 PM
Man... This really rocked me, hit me and moved me sideways. Putting this in my favorites. Damn.
Re: Emily Gray by Enkidu	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135	29-Aug-05/3:58 PM
B.S....leave the hath! (Everyone is entitled to their opinion , right?) And it is NOT empty! It takes great skill to use few well-chosen words to convey big images, thoughts, or situations! The canvas was well-painted here, not too much, just enough...leaving the viewer just as he/she should be, at the sight before them. (Don't you dare change it one bit!)
Re: 8/29 by cronus	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135	29-Aug-05/4:01 PM
(I guess so...bummer!)
regarding some deleted poem...	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135	29-Aug-05/4:05 PM
sorry...just did absolutely nothing for me, to me, or even nearly so. Just plain...and empty. It wasn't clear enough to fully understand, it didn't go anywhere, it didn't say much of anything.
Re: Out of a White Hole by ALChemy	LilMsLadyPoet 152.163.100.135	29-Aug-05/4:12 PM
brain's< spelling The singlualr period, in the second to last line, and then none at the end...fix that... and get rid of commas or use puncuation throughout. The transition here is uncomfortable> by subconscious gravity It flies on whimsical wings maybe would be helped with a period there? But then you start with 'it', without saying what 'it' is. I don't know...needs some work there. I like it though,; unique. So will give you a genrous vote...but would be higher with some cleaning up.
Re: Present, tense by INTRANSIT	Dovina 17.255.240.138	29-Aug-05/7:30 PM
what? Say again.
Re: Present, tense by INTRANSIT	nentwined 68.232.253.122	30-Aug-05/12:52 AM
hm. why the apostrophe on its? I'm seeing this as a puzzle, but I don't see the first bit of string to unravel. I need something more to make it tense, and I'd rather it actually be in present tense. Or I'm missing the cosmic joke, which would not be that unusual...
regarding some deleted poem...	nentwined 68.232.253.122	30-Aug-05/1:01 AM
points for odd, and short. reminds me of twisp and catsby.
Re: Letters to Silence by MacFrantic	nentwined 68.232.253.122	30-Aug-05/1:02 AM
I think I'm too tired. I kind of like this. I might even be able to understand it. I really think I shouldn't be able to understand it.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	30-Aug-05/5:46 AM
This one I like.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 205.188.116.69	30-Aug-05/5:54 AM
Pair of ducks, sickly.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	30-Aug-05/6:13 AM
Isn't it ironic, don't ya think?