Re: the birds are bugs by ay deee	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Sep-05/7:56 PM
Locusts do suck. I do, however, think that a much better job could be do of saying that here...
Re: to all of you by Heather Dee	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Sep-05/8:03 PM
That's the idea. Don't give a fuck.... about the people who are just being an ass. If you're not going to give a fuck about writing, then why try. I wrote on one of your posts, what felt like a constructive bit...no idea if you even read it though..but seriously...actually work to get better...don't just post any old bit of shit that you write...it's what so many people here do and it's quite annoying. The point, though, is that a few souls have brushed off the tacky shit, taken the constructive criticism and actually improved their writing...it's rare, but it happens. Take Cuddlytiger17....she's no Poe, but she's improved (and to be honest I don't even know if she still posts here, but it's just the first one that came to mind...so...). I'm not gonna vote on this because it seems more like just a last ditch effort to get a point accross than a poem. Here's the best advice I can give you though (and being 26, you probably already know it becaue that's the same age I am and I know it): Assholes are going to keep being assholes, no matter what you say or do...even on the Poemeranker.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Sep-05/8:05 PM
Yesterday, someone broke into my neighbors house, took some jewelry and beat their pug to death with a crowbar. I don't know why, but this just made me think of that.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	13-Sep-05/8:22 PM
Not your best, but I'll take it..
Re: We Were Burnouts by jessicazee	Wakeboarder20 67.183.147.217	13-Sep-05/10:49 PM
Pretty good. Needs to be structured a little though. Some grammatical errors. But overall, different and well written.
Re: (e0)(af)(87e0) by nentwined	zodiac 212.38.134.51	14-Sep-05/1:15 AM
Up to the last bit of the title, I thought this was going to be a poem about Battleship(tm) coordinates. Sadly, it wasn't.
regarding some deleted poem...	Quarton 12.217.202.34	14-Sep-05/10:13 AM
I liked parts of this but the cadence and rhythm are off by my reading. You could work on this without altering the basic theme of your poem. Good luck. quarton
Re: Éire by TLRufener	Tintagiles 198.164.250.155	14-Sep-05/12:08 PM
One point for the courage of writing a patriotic poem. Like almost every single other patriotic poem in the history of literature in all languages, it's crap.
Re: One Moment to the Other (v3) by nentwined	Quarton 12.217.202.34	14-Sep-05/12:49 PM
Excellent. The rhyme is unforced and content profound.
Re: Creation by Quarton	Dovina 24.52.236.153	14-Sep-05/2:50 PM
I find little enobling of thoughts on considering the whole thing in this way. not sublime anyway. Maybe some metaphor or speculation, like a blooming flower or something.
Re: Creation by Quarton	wilco 66.61.101.130	14-Sep-05/3:03 PM
eventually This seems more like a science textbook put to rhyme than a poem...give it some feeling.
Re: Seekers by Dovina	wilco 66.61.101.130	14-Sep-05/3:06 PM
I'd love to see you post that one from a while back...I don't remember what it was called but it was really good...something about being in fashion...I don't know....get on that, though ok?
Re: Leaving Song by wilco	Dovina 24.52.236.153	14-Sep-05/3:13 PM
Funny - so incongruent it's funny.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	15-Sep-05/7:59 AM
Does look like it could be cut down a stanza or two. If you only refer to the protagonist as "I" then it will be assumed that I is the author. The "you" likewise will be assumed to be the reader. If this is not the case then refering to anyone else in the poem as only I or you and not giving enough info as to who they are is simply being vague. It's the repetition of I's and you's that drag the poem.
Re: Seekers by Dovina	Caducus 172.201.113.199	15-Sep-05/8:57 AM
you dont need asymettrically its too effucsive with it but i like the comparisons of natures shape to our own.
Re: Dale by INTRANSIT	Caducus 172.201.113.199	15-Sep-05/9:00 AM
its a freakin classic and normally what i liked a couple of years ago isnt the same now (which can be said of some readers to my work). This is still so haunting and ripping out the guts of a grandfather clock shows your emotive qualities spilling over - this poem made me like you as a human and writer.
Re: Creation by Quarton	Caducus 172.201.113.199	15-Sep-05/9:29 AM
Pretty good and technically sound it just seems a bit anonymous. Try and do one without the emphasis on rhyme it may be more punchy.
Re: Leaving Song by wilco	Caducus 172.201.113.199	15-Sep-05/9:30 AM
I know line 3 its so true.
regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 172.201.113.199	15-Sep-05/9:30 AM
good last 2 lines.
Re: oh how far are we from wilderness by tianyi	srh 58.178.23.218	15-Sep-05/2:58 PM
This is great. Really draw out a lovely slow rhythm in the second part. Nice, subtle, beautiful.