ALChemy
on Acoustics by oneglove
27 Oct 2005, 8:29 AM
3rd verse is good.
Gives new meaning to the term "Cluster fuck".
First the moon now the stars is there a term for this type of sexual preference? Cosmosexual? Celestialphile?
Astro-erotica?
Nice juicy stuff you're writing.
beautiful one
Great. But unless she has Size 12 feet, try 6" heels. And we don't need the opening remark.
Logistically impossible.
Very tender, especially the "honest baby" lines.
Is your name really JonathRon? How odd. It's like you're a science fiction character.
How can you reveal this? And suburban conopy doesn't work for me. "Loud foreign things" does.
I would change 'Can not you taste' to the more correct 'Can you not taste'.
Lovely work.
Anne Frank, with an E. Drop ever instance of 'each other' or 'one another'.
PS-Nice self-voting. You must be basking in all your made-up greatness.
I like it. I don't know why you switch hands.
comments lost.
I think you just blew my doors off.
I knew I was going to read something good just from the author and title, and I wasn't disappointed. Great work :-).
rised = rose.
Aren't you too old for this. Cutting paper dolls can at least be dignified with the name, origami. Thrusting the belly forward to music of The Rubber Band does have an unknotting.
rogue -do- in the fourth.
"broadband subterranean tunnels" perfect.