Re: Hoi Polloi by INTRANSIT	crazyknight 202.83.45.163	26-Dec-05/8:50 PM
hhmmmmmmmmmmmmm not sure what to make of this.
Re: why? by nentwined	crazyknight 202.83.45.163	26-Dec-05/8:51 PM
no meaning in existence
Re: Ennui by Sisterwolf	crazyknight 202.83.45.163	26-Dec-05/8:54 PM
the english needs a lot of brushing. the smooth flow is missing, but the skeleton is beautifully firm.
Re: real fright of going home by veggiegurl	crazyknight 202.83.45.163	26-Dec-05/8:56 PM
its good, the future is uncertain, but would u want a certain future.
Re: Train of Thought by Sisterwolf	crazyknight 202.83.45.163	26-Dec-05/9:01 PM
more sister wolf. remember you are not alone. god ia always with you. be in peace.
Re: why? by nentwined	Dovina 209.247.222.81	26-Dec-05/9:21 PM
-- = one never-ending moment of ecstasy.
Re: Hoi Polloi by INTRANSIT	Dovina 209.247.222.81	26-Dec-05/9:29 PM
I stood in line once thinking about something I'd huffed about, and loved it, but I wouldn't do it in line. Time bore down on nine months and nothing happened.
Re: Ennui by Sisterwolf	Dovina 209.247.222.81	26-Dec-05/9:41 PM
The wording is complecated in the first few lines, and the lack of periods makes it difficult to follow. On second reading, it went smoother. It's the opposite of cliche, and quite interesting.
Re: Faceless agonies by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 213.207.224.156	27-Dec-05/11:56 AM
.............
Re: Faceless agonies by Prince of Void	Dovina 17.255.240.6	27-Dec-05/12:01 PM
May I suggest that you have inadvertently written a happy, optimistic poem? A pathless heart is the easiest kind to love, the most adaptable, the most able to join another heart.
Re: A Fool's Errand by ALChemy	Hadasl 62.0.106.233	27-Dec-05/1:26 PM
Didn't like the ending.
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/8:50 PM
Marcellus' image is that the cock crows at Christmastime to keep (bad) spirits away. That's basically your image, too, except Marcellus/Shakespeare had to work for it and you didn't. To keep it here, you're going to add something to Marcellus' information - make the image your own.
Re: For Love of Baseball by Dovina	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/8:51 PM
Nice sentiment, poor execution.
Re: Not for Me by TLRufener	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/8:57 PM
A heart THAT never beats. Interesting image, words falling deaf. When most people would say words fell mute, or words fell on deaf ears. Seriously, why don't you try saying what YOU, DancingShamrock, mean, instead of saying what a million people before you meant? I think you would do better that way, is all.
Re: Deja vu by mystic enoch	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:11 PM
No, it's not too much to ask. My advice: Ditch him. My other advice: In almost every relationship I've ever seen, there's a balance between the amount of respect you give and the amount of respect you get. If you treat him like a god, he HAS TO treat you like a god treats a bug - and squash you. If you claim some respect for yourself, he has to respect you. Next guy (and there will be a next guy), show him what you're good at, what you're better at than he is (and I don't mean that you're good at being a bug). Make him feel like he's screwed up from time to time. Make him feel like YOU'RE better than HE is. Then before you know it you'll be thirty and have a guy who thinks you're better than he is while you think he's better than you are. Then you win and get married. Trust me.
Re: Disassociation by Christina	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:15 PM
Never use ellipses (...) in a poem. Ever. Once, a reporter dared Ernest Hemmingway to write a short story in only six words. His answer - "For sale: baby shoes. Never used."
Re: amalgam by ThePariahDog	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:19 PM
My best suggestion is that you start reading real poetry. Here's a good place to start: http://www.poems.com/archive.htm
Re: why? by nentwined	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:20 PM
... I woosh into the void of her infinity. A single leaf falls.
Re: Social Rant by fubang22	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:23 PM
This was probably good before you shift-F7'ed it into oblivion
Re: real fright of going home by veggiegurl	zodiac 70.109.2.131	27-Dec-05/9:34 PM
50 years ago, an American student your age could have recited William Cullen Bryant's "Thanatopsis" from memory. I'm not saying we're not better off than people were 50 years ago, but do *you* know what thanatopsis means?