Re: What is Love? by edgar-allen-poe-rox	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	14-Feb-06/10:07 AM
My suggestion would be to focus on non-rhyming poems that have alot of stuff like metaphor, simile, and imagery. Read alot of poetry and books on the art of writing so that you know what the tools are and how to use them plus you'll learn what not to write like cliches for instance. Most of the people here are happy to help you so long as you're willing to except that criticism is a must for learning any type of art form. So bite your lip, learn from your mistakes and consider the advice that others give you and soon you'll surprise yourself by how good you've become. Ps. Don't call anyone names who hasn't done it to you first or soon you'll find that no one will want to read your poems. Good luck young buck.
Re: discovery by skaskowski	Ranger 62.252.32.15	14-Feb-06/10:09 AM
Nonsensical, but isn't that the point of this poem? I quite like the imaginings here, but then again I would.
Re: Tears. by edgar-allen-poe-rox	raven_the_poet 216.45.130.159	14-Feb-06/10:20 AM
You rock jamie -glomp-
Re: Escape by raven_the_poet	edgar-allen-poe-rox 70.174.119.18	14-Feb-06/10:21 AM
wow.. is that seriously you're firstpoem?.. wow..wayyy better than my first O.O XD i suck -_-
Re: Happy 40th Anniversary by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	14-Feb-06/10:24 AM
Isn't it good to say we've come a long way...... that just about sums up the theme of the poem, I think. it's a nice write and to make it better, I'd skip mentioning the 'forty'. It's understood from the title. Just my opinion..... it could be either way according to preference.
Re: Dear flatulance (dear lord) by Bobjim	raven_the_poet 216.45.130.159	14-Feb-06/10:29 AM
omg. freaking hilarious. XD
Re: Winter Wonderland by raven_the_poet	Ranger 62.252.32.15	14-Feb-06/10:33 AM
Sounds like something that would suit a villanelle, with a little expansion.
Re: Escape by raven_the_poet	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	14-Feb-06/10:33 AM
Sonnets should contain at least one identifiable characteristic of a formal sonnet. See E. A. Poe Rox's poem and read the comment I left for him. Goog luck Raven. I look forward to posts from both of you. Ps. And yes I think Poe rox too.
Re: Down on Dogs by Bobjim	edgar-allen-poe-rox 70.174.119.18	14-Feb-06/10:34 AM
i vote ten for being humorous and ten for poetic talent.
Re: Down on Dogs by Bobjim	raven_the_poet 216.45.130.159	14-Feb-06/10:34 AM
Wow. hahaha you are a wonderful poet
Re: She Doesn't Love Me. by edgar-allen-poe-rox	raven_the_poet 216.45.130.159	14-Feb-06/10:37 AM
=)
Re: Winter Wonderland by raven_the_poet	edgar-allen-poe-rox 70.174.119.18	14-Feb-06/10:38 AM
poor mr snow : (
Re: The Struggling Poet's Lament by Ranger	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.37	14-Feb-06/10:48 AM
Ranger, I've just stumbled upon your poem, more like... I looked for your latest poem. It's good, but I will comment on it more tomorrow hopefully. It's pretty late... I could do with some beauty sleep. Nighto...
Re: Escape by raven_the_poet	Glasseyez 204.49.132.56	14-Feb-06/11:06 AM
This angry world nothing but a race. change that this will be great now its good.
Re: The Emptiness Of My Soul by edgar-allen-poe-rox	Glasseyez 204.49.132.56	14-Feb-06/11:20 AM
More to live than women/men. Try bowling it feels empowering to knock pins over with a ball. No idea why
Re: I am the gayest by walrus8	Glasseyez 204.49.132.56	14-Feb-06/11:55 AM
lol Mr Gayness
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.237.26	14-Feb-06/12:33 PM
Having frightened and scared of Spain is inelegant as they pretty much mean the same thing. The last line I like the idea but warmed darkness doesn't make sense. Warmed stone? maybe not. Ohter than that good.
Re: Winter Wonderland by raven_the_poet	zodiac 209.193.18.30	14-Feb-06/12:40 PM
Surely, you can think of a better title for this than one that's already the name of a famous song.
Re: Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	zodiac 209.193.18.30	14-Feb-06/12:42 PM
Crits can wait. I hope she liked it.
Re: Lost In Her Effervescence by ALChemy	zodiac 209.193.18.30	14-Feb-06/12:49 PM
If you haven't given it yet, here are my suggestions. Except for the half rhyme you could stand to lose "in soft waters of", so do the next best thing: drop "of a cold boiling ocean". Or somehow combine the two. "beneath the driving rain" is one instance where you can drop "the". "tumbling" and "boiling" seem a little too easy and light for your cold ocean. I'd prefer edgier words. She might not. And easy way to handle punctuation AND edge would be to simply say "I tumble through swarming bubbles." I want to hear more about the air that isn't there. Is there time? It's a great hint of image/predicament/etc, anyway. "A chill so, that it burns the illusion / of fire," - ??? That's a little grammar-weird. I can see why, but... "In my bones, they know" - since it's you bones that know, it'd be best to clear that up: "My bones, they know", "In my bones, I know", "These old bones, they know" - something. That's all. And again, I think you'll get laid whatever you do with it.