You rock jamie -glomp-

=)

Sonnets should contain at least one identifiable characteristic of a formal sonnet. See E. A. Poe Rox's poem and read the comment I left for him. Goog luck Raven. I look forward to posts from both of you. Ps. And yes I think Poe rox too.

Isn't it good to say we've come a long way...... that just about sums up the theme of the poem, I think. it's a nice write and to make it better, I'd skip mentioning the 'forty'. It's understood from the title. Just my opinion..... it could be either way according to preference.

Sounds like something that would suit a villanelle, with a little expansion.

poor mr snow : (

Ranger, I've just stumbled upon your poem, more like... I looked for your latest poem. It's good, but I will comment on it more tomorrow hopefully. It's pretty late... I could do with some beauty sleep. Nighto...

Having frightened and scared of Spain is inelegant as they pretty much mean the same thing. The last line I like the idea but warmed darkness doesn't make sense. Warmed stone? maybe not. Ohter than that good.

Crits can wait. I hope she liked it.

If you haven't given it yet, here are my suggestions. Except for the half rhyme you could stand to lose "in soft waters of", so do the next best thing: drop "of a cold boiling ocean". Or somehow combine the two. "beneath the driving rain" is one instance where you can drop "the". "tumbling" and "boiling" seem a little too easy and light for your cold ocean. I'd prefer edgier words. She might not. And easy way to handle punctuation AND edge would be to simply say "I tumble through swarming bubbles." I want to hear more about the air that isn't there. Is there time? It's a great hint of image/predicament/etc, anyway. "A chill so, that it burns the illusion / of fire," - ??? That's a little grammar-weird. I can see why, but... "In my bones, they know" - since it's you bones that know, it'd be best to clear that up: "My bones, they know", "In my bones, I know", "These old bones, they know" - something. That's all. And again, I think you'll get laid whatever you do with it.

lol Mr Gayness

i vote ten for being humorous and ten for poetic talent.

Wow. hahaha you are a wonderful poet

More to live than women/men. Try bowling it feels empowering to knock pins over with a ball. No idea why

This angry world nothing but a race. change that this will be great now its good.

My suggestion would be to focus on non-rhyming poems that have alot of stuff like metaphor, simile, and imagery. Read alot of poetry and books on the art of writing so that you know what the tools are and how to use them plus you'll learn what not to write like cliches for instance. Most of the people here are happy to help you so long as you're willing to except that criticism is a must for learning any type of art form. So bite your lip, learn from your mistakes and consider the advice that others give you and soon you'll surprise yourself by how good you've become. Ps. Don't call anyone names who hasn't done it to you first or soon you'll find that no one will want to read your poems. Good luck young buck.

Nonsensical, but isn't that the point of this poem? I quite like the imaginings here, but then again I would.

wow.. is that seriously you're firstpoem?.. wow..wayyy better than my first O.O XD i suck -_-

omg. freaking hilarious. XD

Surely, you can think of a better title for this than one that's already the name of a famous song.