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Winter Wonderland (Free verse) by raven_the_poet
I'm rolling around in the snow. It's so pleasurable and fun To roll balls of ice. Around the man we run. He's made of snow and coal. A carrot for a nose. If he touches things, you'll need two sticks. Now he's pretty as a rose. He looks alive but he's not. The head's a bit smaller than the base. We like to dress him for winter. Around his body we race. I'm rolling around in the grass. It's so pleasurable and fun. But my snowman has melted away. And summer's on the run.

Up the ladder: a day of reparations

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.0596013
Overall Rank: 6717
Posted: February 14, 2006 10:24 AM PST; Last modified: February 14, 2006 10:24 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 | 14-Feb-06/10:33 AM | Reply
Sounds like something that would suit a villanelle, with a little expansion.
[8] edgar-allen-poe-rox @ 70.174.119.18 | 14-Feb-06/10:38 AM | Reply
poor mr snow : (
[7] zodiac @ 209.193.18.30 | 14-Feb-06/12:40 PM | Reply
Surely, you can think of a better title for this than one that's already the name of a famous song.
[n/a] raven_the_poet @ 216.45.130.159 > zodiac | 14-Feb-06/7:17 PM | Reply
I wrote it a long time ago.. I dunno.. any suggestions?
[n/a] Blue Magpie @ 212.205.251.15 | 22-Feb-06/5:51 AM | Reply
Light verse, such as this, is traditionally strong on rhyme and rhythm, which is what makes them stay in your head, while this has some rhyme it appears to have no rhythm at all which makes it less than it could be.
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