This feels like lightning in a bottle/ pure soliloquy. vibrant beautiful thank you

cmon man votes?

Exquisite. Sublime. Wonderful. I like it.

Yes I hate those begegrs. Smash 'em in the face if I were brave enough!

Not at all bad. Well done!

Finally something with some fucking emotion, and something that screams red colors flashing your eyes grabbing attention to it...beautiful. And how true that there is such pleasant ecstacy in sheer agony...even if it is super cheesy and dirrrty...lol. You rock!

Any form of necrophilia is good and pleasant and beautiful..The odors...ah, so noxious it is vibrantly erotic, kissing blue pale lips, cold and hard...anyways, great stuff, but this is just bare bones...You need more MEAT, and substance (potatoes)...my suggestion is this: go into the graveyard at night, and just sit there for a while, inhale the air, poke around, let the dead give you mental stimulation...then come back and tell us all about your exploits about necrophilia...God bless you, 666!

I especially like: "where a chorus of empty coathangers dress me in naked truths." But it should be "dresses."

Well, I think you could said it less than half as many words. And to be called a prose poem, it should contain some of the poetic elements, though nobody seems clear on how far this should go. Try rewriting it without the repetition, for starters. Then look for stuff that doesn't really pertain to the story. I think it could become quite good.

I wouldn't say that this was very impressive although you were trying to get a point across.

too prose-like.

too melancholy and depressing.

Jesus farts for you!

It sounds like a description of a drug trip. And the "ironies" described as "ludicrous" seem like dreams. So the epiphany at the end is hard to accept.

Jesus farts for you!

Jesus farts for you!

Jesus farts for you!

Jesus farts for you!

Jesus farts TWICE for you!

Jesus farts for you!