Re: Wet dreams by ecargo	<~> 167.206.181.179	29-Sep-06/1:37 PM
gorgeous language, e. 'mother bulk' sat well with me. it was the perfect image, for me, to describe the scene.
Re: In the hollow (rough) by ecargo	<~> 167.206.181.179	29-Sep-06/1:39 PM
"flashing quick and crosshatched with careless pricker scrapes;" oooh. ooh. ooh.
Re: Farmhouse, Southern France (storm on arrival) by Ranger	<~> 167.206.181.179	29-Sep-06/1:41 PM
i think you go too far, here, ranger. i know you mean 'sunflower" but solar flower reads as solar flare, to me, at first--not that it will read like that to everyone, but 'flare' is a word often quick on the heels of 'solar'. you've got some nice descriptions here, but the language gets blustery, rather than omminous, whioch is, i think the mood you want to set for this. although, i could be wrong.
Re: A Perfectly Normal Man by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	30-Sep-06/6:10 AM
Brilliant. Millions of chaps who are lucky/unlucky enough to fall under the 'nice guy' category (I'm still not decided on whether it's a blessing or a curse) will nod sagely upon reading this. I love the perspective you tell this from, too - her side of the story...yet at the end of the day, really giving no emotions away. This gets a ten, and deserves it.
Re: Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>	Ranger 62.252.32.15	30-Sep-06/6:18 AM
Love the alternation, although it took me a second read to work it out. Nice, simple language which works well - something I have yet to master - although the ending left me wondering who the poem was addressed to. Lover, husband, friend, all possibilities. But this isn't a piece to be rushed :-)
regarding some deleted poem...	Ranger 62.252.32.15	30-Sep-06/6:34 AM
Neat, could do with some of the more worn phrases ironing out (canopy of stars in particular). I did like 'hear the waves match our rhythm' especially - although I think this is crying out to be a little more...teasing. Make us do a bit more work as readers, just like you'd make him do a bit more, rather than giving it all straight away.
Re: Colors of Me by MissUnderstood	Ranger 62.252.32.15	30-Sep-06/6:39 AM
Yeah, I quite liked this. 'My heart is red, my mood is blue' is overused - but following it with 'My thoughts are sort of gray' makes it work, in my opinion. I'd alter the last line (it's very Linkin Park-y, whereas the rest is a bit more delicate). Keep writing rhythmic poetry (this is good), originality will come in time.
Re: The Mikado's Poetic List by Engelbert Humpalot	nypoet22 65.2.216.112	30-Sep-06/6:46 AM
very clever and almost complete. you've left out someone very important. this poem could use a self-aware addendum, an acknowledgement that the speaker himself would also probably not be missed.
Re: Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk by nypoet22	Ranger 62.252.32.15	30-Sep-06/6:48 AM
A collection of haikus, unless I'm very much mistaken. This is good - it carries a certain amount of angst, but deals with it exceptionally well. The last stanza works wonders with the juxtaposing of release and hell, even if 'and hell,' is just an exclamatory expression. I'm not sure if you meant it in the sense of 'night brings release and hell/I miss her'. If so, bonus kudos!
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	nypoet22 65.2.216.112	30-Sep-06/6:52 AM
*chuckles*
Re: Untitled by PunkyPanda	nypoet22 65.2.216.112	30-Sep-06/7:09 AM
this seems more like outright prose than a prose poem. it's gentle and meaningful, but i'm just not sure that it carries its weight without an essay or story attached. it's a good read.
Re: Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>	nypoet22 65.2.216.112	30-Sep-06/7:17 AM
how should this be read? it's really not clear until the last stanza that there are two voices at play. a little prosy in parts, but it tugs gently at a real and present conflict.
Re: Going to Michigan for the weekend by <~>	Dovina 70.38.78.229	30-Sep-06/11:05 AM
If the indented lines are someone talking, and the non-indented lines someone else, then the two seem not conversing, but each in their own world. Either way, "someone" in the last verse, as opposed to "Someone" means to me that the person talking continues from two verses above, ignoring the other. Anyway, a nice set of thoughts on a peaceful getaway.
Re: Weather poem part 5: the cold dusk by nypoet22	Dovina 70.38.78.229	30-Sep-06/11:10 AM
It's hard to tell a story with verses in haiku. And they are haiku only in meter. I think it's too restraining to do that. A good try though.
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	Dovina 70.38.78.229	30-Sep-06/11:27 AM
Frankly, I don't understand you on this one. If she is affectedly pretty and cute, as opposed to actually pretty, then why would you, a saint, want to give yourself to her? Probably, there is something I am missing here. I had to look up "twee" a briticism that I may be misinterpreting. Or maybe it's a sly way of saying you are not a saint.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 70.38.78.229	30-Sep-06/11:38 AM
kestrel - a falcon that can hover in the air. I have seen them diving like this - a good description of it.
regarding some deleted poem...	half.italian 70.36.242.152	30-Sep-06/8:18 PM
I'm taking notes. Beautiful.
Re: "Twee" by Ranger	half.italian 70.36.242.152	30-Sep-06/8:19 PM
I like it.
Re: the secret life of the sundew by pollywolly	half.italian 70.36.242.152	30-Sep-06/8:29 PM
Nice imagery.
Re: Wyndham by Aetius	Fayt 71.166.77.211	30-Sep-06/11:17 PM
i like! you should participate more tho..