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the secret life of the sundew

Member since 2006 · Posted 29 Sep 2006 · 3 comments

Stretching She yawns, Uncurling her Tapered arms She reaches outwards To the sun Seeking the warmth given To sweat her deadly pores, Bringing forth The sweet nectarine Used to lure Her prey Into her sticky Embrace In this place Of decay

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mean 4.33 weighted 4.92 rank 9487 views 142 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

3 comments

[n/a] <~> 29-Sep-06/1:26 PM Reply

don't you mean nectar?

[n/a] Ranger › <~> 30-Sep-06/6:13 AM Reply

I kind of liked 'nectarine'. I know it's not grammatically correct - unless the plant decided that nectarines would work as a good lure, and maybe they would - but he's described the sundew as 'she', so the feminine ending '-ine' gives a really creepy femme fatale tone to that section.

That being said, though, 'sweat her deadly pores' and 'sticky embrace' aren't nearly graceful enough to carry that idea to the end.

[7] half.italian 30-Sep-06/8:29 PM Reply

Nice imagery.