Bethy
on STAN by poetry_rancour
13 Mar 2007, 10:04 AM
talent...fun to read...:) Bethy
I like your stretches of words - grouts, lathes - even if they are far-fetched. Shouldn't it be Daimler's?
hehehe lol...and it should be...:) Bethy
radio ga ga...old song from many moons ago...still its good :) Bethy
Beau is a boyfriend. But what is a "boo'? Anyway, a funny thought.
Funnier than AIDS
How true.
Welcome to Poemranker. Please ignore the slobs who have splattered this place of late, and realize that before there were some who actually tried to write and to comment. Hang in for a while and see what happens. And btw, this is rather clever and unusual. I especially like "throbbing ovaries/ eggs on legs/ legs on the move."
Kinky!
This is ok. Sonnets are always a difficult discipline. I like the first four lines they skip along jauntily. Loses it a bit after that. Fresh ink smelling in a book. Really? 'Yes him, a potential reader' 'delicate pages long fingers' I just don't think the middle skips along quite as well. The language is not as crisp.
I guess this is a beat poem. It has the wise-ass descriptions of the world going on around the writer but lacks any interesting episodes or themes. I like 'you me and plurality' as a turn of phrase. Should probably read 'You and I and plurality' it would rhyme too.
It has a good rhythm and a good flow with a few exceptions â âin a daycareâ âmany books now become a stackâ I donât understand âits a companion that I lack.â It seems itâs a life you do not lack. Do you mean Cheerios, the breakfast cereal; or cheerios, goodbyes? I suspect the former.
May God grant you with "Buns of Steel" my dear friend...good poem :) Bethy
I like this...judgement comes to those who know how the story ends...:) Bethy
Interesting...I like the link between music and making the 10th shot, all by chance and Larry is watching...lol... he just won't turn the music back on til you move on...go ahead...make the basket...the ball is in your court... good poem :) Bethy
I don't get the ending. Looks kind of forced.
Interesting subversion. The grammar looks a bit convoluted. Don't get l4.