Divine, -10-

you forgot to smite the unworthy. boo. hiss.

"Gone, gone, gone. Where am I again? Where is home?" I would drop this from the end entirely, otherwise mmmmmmm.

Ponderous, yet somehow still very tactile. -8-

So, on judgement day you shall deliver unto us a punchline? shucks, all that puffin to say that? waste of wind sir, now my funny bones quiver. heres a 7.

Christ! Where's my visine?

Incredible.

the middle isn't so hot, but the rest is wonderful.

I was looking at the Gothic Elvis pictures this morning. one is taped to my wall. the neutrality ones are lovely, especially Switzerland. I'll come too. There's chaos in those cuckoo clocks. Markie has been wearing a lot of short skirts with bright red high heels of late. Foxy.

I often stand. I also check out the underage. That's the dirty old man in me.

I like the image - of slicing part of oneself to give to another. That is really conveyed entirely in the second stanza; I struggle to find meaning in the first. Dampen deep? Damp and deep? maybe just an interesting coinage - maybe some change? words dripping like tears is - used. I think the first stanza was just a warm up exercise for the second (this is not uncommon) - let it evaporate like sweat, and keep the second as a base for something very nice.

Well, that was interesting - what is this show rated!! I don't think I've ever read an orchid sex poem like it. Wait, I've never read an orchid sex poem. what is "Watch we" - I posted a poem earlier about nanotech, and thought I might have focused on a relatively small group of folks who would "get it" - I'm pretty sure this would elicit a similar response. Hey - ya can't save em all!

They're such oddly malevolent flowers--this works quite well. I like "twist a whimsied spiral," but "down and around" is redundant, and I am unreasonably biased against the word "abound"--it just strikes me as one of those "committing acts of poetry" words. The "watch we" inversion strikes a little artificially--does it have some purpose other than the rhyme? I'm usually turned off by archaic tones in modern poems, but the orchid has an odd, other-timely formality that makes it work here (it helps that you keep it light and reasonably subtle). Light and shadow, whimsy and floral murder--what's not to like?

You just wanted to say "gloaming".

There is this bar in Fremantle, Little Creatures, that sits right along the water and if you stare long and hard enough you can see all the way across the ocean to Durban. Of course, the worlds may run parallel but are entirely different. You have seen one of these places. Now, for once, I hope you see the other. But as far as the poem above here, you make the worst mistake ever: what is IT?????????????????????????????????????????? Other than that, I quite disagree with the others here and like the flow and like the wording. But what is IT????????????????????????? Talk to me!!!!!!!

Sad. So many good things can be conjured on the throne and this is what you come up with. It is not even funny. You must be 14 and still laugh when you fart.

Good title. Works from beginning to end. Don't listen to the girl formerly know as Z.

Poetry is the lowest art-form known to man.

This is awful. 0

overall a good complete poem. I don't think you need the lines 'gametic knife' or 'allure abounds'. Such phrases are already inferred I think. This poem has a certain frisson without.