| Re: Talk by Skamper |
pete 62.56.90.230 |
15-Jun-07/6:45 AM |
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well; i think that's nice .... somewhat lacking in something .... getting skampered out catcha later
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 72.161.151.195 |
15-Jun-07/8:29 AM |
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| Re: Bonded by Skamper |
Dovina 72.161.151.195 |
15-Jun-07/8:35 AM |
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Something like the comfort in my recent one. Nice job.
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| Re: Between two Truths by Dovina |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
15-Jun-07/8:54 AM |
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I don't like the simile "the kinds of churches like colors of cars" I assume you mean because there's lots of different car colors and there's lots of different churches but it just lacks your usual eccentric wit.
Also "beerâs against the law" is just not true.
The rest I found interesting and well done.
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| Re: ........ by Prince of Void |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
15-Jun-07/8:55 AM |
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| Re: Dixon Country Store, Kentucky by Dovina |
ALChemy 71.68.46.177 |
15-Jun-07/8:59 AM |
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The last line is killer. You could almost call it a prose poem.
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| Re: Resume by drnick |
Dovina 72.161.151.195 |
15-Jun-07/2:16 PM |
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The first two verses say it all. The rest gets into the nitty of how and why. But Why do that?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
pete 62.56.78.68 |
16-Jun-07/2:41 AM |
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ummmm ... thanx for forcing me to a deeper understanding of the haiku/Senryu form ... still digesting ... wgb
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| Re: Between two Truths by Dovina |
some deleted user 64.140.228.3 |
16-Jun-07/10:31 AM |
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A very good read Dovina, although I do agree with Al on L4 in the first stanza. I assume you like the alliteration of the simile as it is. Also, if you changed L4 in the second stanza to something like, "gives solice from the cross" you could escape the double use of comfort. Just some thoughts. I find the last stanza very Emily Dickinson like.
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| Re: Bonded by Skamper |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:40 AM |
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wow guys - your comments are weirdly comforting. thanks :)
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| Re: Decisions by MacFrantic |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:43 AM |
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flows along nicely enough to be kinda fun and yet a little bloody.
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| Re: Morning Maid by Enkidu |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:48 AM |
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Not sure why I like this, and definately know I don't get the full message. Maybe that's why...
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| Re: It's Simple by Enkidu |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:50 AM |
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Nice little play on words - the give and take of it all...
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| Re: ........ by Prince of Void |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:54 AM |
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I'm just confused - by the language and the message.
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| Re: Between two Truths by Dovina |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/10:58 AM |
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I hate to be a band-wagon jumper but I agree with the other two. I like the whole write apart from the cars/churches...they don't seem to work together.
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| Re: This road goes on forever by MacFrantic |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/11:03 AM |
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Sad - it all feels right except for how suicide used to be a pleasant sight...not sure what you mean by that.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Prince of Void 80.71.126.78 |
16-Jun-07/11:18 AM |
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it's a good poem ...very good
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| Re: Tropical afternoon by cpill |
Skamper 202.6.130.10 |
16-Jun-07/11:29 AM |
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Maybe it's because I'm a girl - but the first line just seems too repulsive to go with the rest of the write...I don't get the connection. Overall the resignation at what life brings is evident, and painted quite well...
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| Re: Between two Truths by Dovina |
drnick 216.144.215.157 |
16-Jun-07/12:34 PM |
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Well call me crazy, but I do like the fourth line; it's a good comparison because much like the colors of cars, the kind of church is a preference of what is basically all the same thing. Very nice!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 85.210.32.212 |
16-Jun-07/1:45 PM |
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The gibberings of an idiot.
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