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It's Simple (Haiku) by Enkidu
I give and give and give and give and give but I will never take you back

Down the ladder: An unfinished lyric

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.0794687
Overall Rank: 6402
Posted: September 13, 2005 9:26 PM PDT; Last modified: June 14, 2007 1:33 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] lmp @ 141.154.134.3 | 14-Jun-07/11:00 AM | Reply
one extra syllable in line 2; try "I'll" or maybe just "will".

perhaps try using other words beside "give" 5 times. i am sure there are other things you do, such as forgave, tryusted, loved, etc. might help paint the picture better if you explain how much you gave...
[10] Skamper @ 202.6.130.10 | 16-Jun-07/10:50 AM | Reply
Nice little play on words - the give and take of it all...
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