poemranker ::It's Simple by Enkidu

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Haiku № 131027

It's Simple

by Enkidu

Member since 2004 · Posted 13 Sep 2005 · Edited 14 Jun 2007 · 2 comments

I give and give and give and give and give but I will never take you back

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mean 5.67 weighted 5.08 rank 6399 views 174 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[7] lmp 14-Jun-07/11:00 AM Reply
one extra syllable in line 2; try "I'll" or maybe just "will".

perhaps try using other words beside "give" 5 times. i am sure there are other things you do, such as forgave, tryusted, loved, etc. might help paint the picture better if you explain how much you gave...
[10] Skamper 16-Jun-07/10:50 AM Reply
Nice little play on words - the give and take of it all...