wilco
on some deleted poem
11 Apr 2004, 2:16 PM
That's kinda funny.
cracked me up.
awesome poem, i love the line about zodiaz, he keeps pullin down my poems ;( keep it up, and dont forget to read mine
I love it...sounds like a Streets song...I could read it a hundred times...also mad props on the Zodiac line I'm glad someone had the balls to stand up to him!
one question, why would you be lying under rose stems? I'm not trying to be an ass, I just want to make sure you aren't "having a rough time" and considering something dangerous. Intersting work though even though I have no idea what it's about I give you an 8 I'm on AIM at Impishkat
Great song
i like how most of your lines ended with a verb. at the same time, it was difficult and choppy to move from one line to the next mid-sentence with such brick like words. if the language was not as gruff and more melodic it would have flowed much better. the structure took me away from the content, causing me to lose your point. after re-reading it, i did enjoy the poem's notion of reform and losing older ways of life.
tara my dear- wonderful imagery, lots of emotion, but the structure caused me to lost your intended voice. with a little re-structuring it could improve tenfold.
i'm confused
Beautiful.
As a philosophy major, I really enjoy the topic of this. <grin> Good job.
are you okay? i think you should seek mental help. I dont know what inspired you to write this, but it's confusing. And with the Queer Test that you wrote, i'm starting to think that you're 1.) a homophobe who has issues, or 2.) a homosexual person, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Rob Lowe? Really?
not often that a very short poem tells a complete story with a distinct point... i don't know, maybe cuz i live in dc it makes it easier to understand it. regardless, well done
very kool, i like it :)
I love you...this poem is beautiful
the last line makes the poem; it rounds everything out with a kind of "oh..." from me, the reader.
ive been thru this exactly. good job.
i hate to go along with the crowd, but u deserved a 10...u surprised me. good job.