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20 most recent comments by terbenaw
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Re: AIDS in a van by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 1-May-04/2:50 PM
I give you a TEN... minus ten. Heh.

You're not a very nice person, and your poetry follows your attitude - it's not nice either.
regarding some deleted poem... 1-May-04/2:58 PM
Broken down in simplicity: Excellent!
Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin 1-May-04/3:01 PM
Beautiful wordplay... well thought out... beautiful overall.
regarding some deleted poem... 3-Jun-04/4:06 PM
I've changed my profile, so can we please get back to critiquing the poem, not the wannabe poet?
Re: Gaia and Man by Blue Magpie 24-Feb-06/1:42 PM
I enjoyed this. It's a bit long, but for some reason, it seems to fit in it's current form. I like the creativity used with the end rhymes, but, I feel that it has limited the scope of the poem in some ways as well. All in all though... this is excellent.
regarding some deleted poem... 24-Feb-06/1:49 PM
I find this to be horrendous... I give you a 2 because it took mad bawls to come one here and post something like this. So you geta 2 - for sheer courage.
Re: Pillosophy by Bobjim 25-Feb-06/1:20 AM
A bit obscure don't you think? It might help if you elaborate a bit on what you mean. Also... can't a person support oneself with both pills and philosophy?
Re: My cousin by Bobjim 25-Feb-06/1:20 AM
This is friggin sick!!!
Re: Ode to necrophilia by Bobjim 25-Feb-06/1:24 AM
Are you trying to make the worst poem I've read? If so, you've succeeded. Besides the fact that the poem is sickening in its message, its design is shaky and crappy... I think I'm gonna go puke now.
regarding some deleted poem... 25-Feb-06/1:31 AM
The sestina is a difficult form to work with. With that said... This is an excellent sestina!! I shall study along with others to best figure out how to improve my sestina...
Re: You by terbenaw 25-Feb-06/1:29 PM
Any opinions on the change from

Its phosphorescent brightness
Illuminating my being


Its incandescent illumination
Invigorating my being?
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger 25-Feb-06/1:53 PM
I happen to enjoy this poem as is. Great flowing rhythm, excellent imagery. I do, however, agree with the others who have stated that replacing Lorelei with someone readers can relate to either Mary or the location of the poem. Excellent work though.
Re: ~PROM MEANS 2 ME~ by T. Jonathron Remp 27-Feb-06/12:07 AM
Hmm... someone sounds pretty bitter. I'm not feeling what you're saying, but you do get your point across OK. This sounds like something that can be used in some sort of song. Also, this is not a sestina.
Re: Highgate Cemetery by longships 27-Feb-06/3:28 PM
I'm really feeling this...
Re: Whalecrack by wlshepherd 1-Mar-06/12:20 AM
You rated me a 4? If this... 'poem' is any indication, your skills are weak... you wouldn't even log on and comment on it... if it's so horrible, why not tell me what you found so screwed up... offer some constructive criticism or something... don't just go on some anonymous BS...

Now... this poem has no purpose... it sounds like a poem parody or something... it's garbage... There's no deep meaning or even a surface meaning... Scrap this and come with something your abilities can create if you spent more time on it... I'll give you a two just for posting this junk.
Re: Reach for the Nightmare by longships 1-Mar-06/7:04 PM
Question: Is this about Iraq?
Re: What Hobbit songs are really like... by Bobjim 1-Mar-06/11:17 PM

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