poemranker ::20 most recent comments by Tarquin De La Bog (61-80)

Comments byTarquin De La Bog, 61–80 back. Include replies

on Two Eagles by Frass 19 Aug 2002, 2:52 PM
Nicely done. 7. 'Keybored' is a great line. Some lovely imagery.
on Selective Alopecia by Ming T. Merciless 19 Aug 2002, 2:29 PM
A delightful first poem Ming. 8. The contrast between the simple yet effective words of the poem and the more educated title is inspired stuff.
on The Big Push by Tascobar 19 Aug 2002, 1:37 PM
A very successful Haiku. 8. A delightful choice of words make the 'bog' standard subject matter rise above the 'crap'. Vivid and concise, with a beautiful summation to close.
on The Ultimate~Creep goes to Mecca! by Bachus 19 Aug 2002, 5:25 PM
An absolute stinker. 0. My good man, the scenes you describe are those of a terrible, low-budget movie. Terribly bad, far, far too long and a bore to read. I didn't think it possible, but the poem is actually worse at the end than it is at the beginning. This poem failed to excite, to shock or even to actually move me to any emotion, other than to screw my face up in disdain. Poor sir, very poor.
on Just Another Day by dougsoderstrom 19 Aug 2002, 1:31 PM
Not bad at all. 7. The start to the piece is very good, as is the final third. I'd have personally worked on the middle section a little more; the stanza's seem much more laboured than in other parts of the poem. However, I feel I'm nitpicking now, and so will cease my criticisms. In general, very good. I think the line 'Break fast' is lovely.
on some deleted poem 19 Aug 2002, 4:43 PM
This is awful. 0. The form makes it a swine to read, and when you get to the end you wondered why you bothered at all, such is the first-rate drivel contained within.
on Retrospect by hmph 19 Aug 2002, 4:49 PM
Far too preachy. 3. The repetition of 'back in the days' throughout the poem shows a lack of imagination, and coming to think about it, so does the poem in it's entitity. A bore from start to finish. This poem tells me nothing.
on some deleted poem 19 Aug 2002, 4:53 PM
Are you religious? Or is this a message to love yourself? 3. The poem is reasonable to begin with, but then turns slightly ludicrous and ends suddenly, and with completely the wrong ending. Or at least that's the way I read it.
on Untitled # 112 by nightii 19 Aug 2002, 4:55 PM
Grim. 7. The content is slightly disconcerting, but the fact that you've created such a graphic image with so few words is a skill indeed.
on Another Window by nightii 19 Aug 2002, 4:59 PM
On first reading this I dismissed it as the kind of sloppy, sentimental tosh that really builds up a rage in me, but then on reading it again I changed my mind. An interesting take on the world of internet chatrooms? Good final line with reference to the start of the poem. Have 7, Sir.
on As I sit by hamgurl 19 Aug 2002, 5:05 PM
I have vomit all over me thanks to this. 0. The kind of rot found in only the very worst greeting cards. For the final two lines alone you should be punished by hard labour. Disgusting. It's made even worse by the poem initially disguising itself as a quite possibly half-decent philosophical little ditty, before regressing into the slush from Hell.
on My Angel by emilys369 19 Aug 2002, 5:13 PM
Sweet stuff. 7. Written with a child-like innocence, this is nice. This could still certainly be found in greeting cards, but at least they wouldn't be naff ones.
on Devil, BEWARE!!! by gay 19 Aug 2002, 1:42 PM
Should this be sung to the theme music of Mighty Mouse? It's certainly bad enough. 2. Sir, in submitting material such as this, I can only conclude that you are an egomaniac, a total prat, or more than likely, both.
on Snow by no9schmack 19 Aug 2002, 2:02 PM
Very average. 6. It's actually written rather well in my opinion, but I think that the major problem is the subject matter; I don't think anybody could write a love poem about snow without the overriding smell of naffness and cheese rising through the house.
on devil by pitchblackdisaster 19 Aug 2002, 2:10 PM
This has no merit at all. 0. The language is dull and unimaginative, and to have the final line in caps simply highlights how hard the poem must work in order to grab the reader's attention before it thankfully ends. I'm afraid there are no positives to mention, aside from the fact that it is mercifully short.
on Mellow by frostygirl 19 Aug 2002, 2:13 PM
Nice. 7. The first verse is a cracker, and the feelings of melancholy and resignation are carried well throughout the poem. I like this, and I'm not usually a fan of sentimental slop.
on some deleted poem 19 Aug 2002, 1:50 PM
These limericks did not amaze OR confuse me, so I suggest that you think longer and harder about your titles before you use them so flippantly, my good man. However, aside from the last one (which seems to be a little comment with reference to one of your bum-pals), they raised a smile, so I gives you a 5.
on some deleted poem 19 Aug 2002, 5:09 PM
Awful. 0. Like a nursery rhyme. If read out loud at a poetry evening, this would have to be done by a 3 year old.
on some deleted poem 19 Aug 2002, 2:45 PM
Brilliant! 9. I almost lost control of my bowels whilst laughing so much. You'd have got a 10, but for the lack of an apostrophy in prostitute's. Sorry for being anal.
on Expeditions by Nicholas Jones 19 Aug 2002, 4:45 PM
Very nice. 8. I like the detail and the narrative tone.