regarding some deleted poem...	29-Aug-02/9:27 AM
For all I know I could be surrounded by biros. I don't pay much attention to those kinds of details. My son's constantly haing to point out all the things I'm oblivious to. Oh! well then --not shattering... is a strong sentence, both literal and figurative. Some truths can't be shattered.
Re: The Hand of God by Christof	29-Aug-02/9:33 AM
Firstly I love this poem because it sets you up for the punch line and then actually delivers. Secondly there's alot of images and I love images. Wall and chink./wound which it inflicts. Are great images for God, but sand moulded bt faith, is completely brilliant. I voted earlier but I'll vote again 8
Re: Pedophile by Lenore	29-Aug-02/9:41 AM
This is really poignant. No joke. You've got the elements and the child being twisted into a monster and then hated by society is sad reality. I work with at risk youth. It's so complicated. I look in some of their eye's sometimes and just for a second there's this flash of knowing it's over for them. Some of the lines are still too simple. I think you could do more with this one. 7
Re: The Hand of God by Christof	29-Aug-02/9:44 AM
That would be an honor. Can you send me some of your poems so I can start working on it. I think your e-mails posted isn't it?
Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus	29-Aug-02/9:51 AM
Since I don't know what your talking about(of course my mind's in the gutter) it's hard for me to appreciate all your imagery. But I'm just happy to see images and metaphor. --Winslow cradled... is my favorite of these. I wish I knew what you are talking about.
Re: Pedophile by Lenore	29-Aug-02/10:05 AM
It's complicated because you've set up a rythmn. I think you would have to start a completely different poem, maybe a companion to this one. Don't worry about the rhymning or the rythmn. Right down some images some genuine Lenore thoughts about the subject. Then we can work them out. Be sincere with yourself. Imagine the situation and react to it in a real way. Unfortunately I have to get off. I'm going on a trip. But i'll be back in 3 days. I'd love to see what you come up with just raw and unstylized. Talk with you then.
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/12:29 PM
Difficult for me to vote on your poems. As an exercise in writing they rank high, but as something finished they do not. You've got plenty of accurate imagery, but what the specific point and/or points are is never clear. I keep looking for some insight on lust because of the title but I find none. I don't mind someone mixing metaphors,but yours change from line to line, and I can't follow. I believe art has a duty to be iconoclastic, but for me it seems you use the absurd image for masturbatory reasons rather then for expression. For example ---One-eyed crossaint butterer-- just appears to be more of a statemnet about how clever you are then a statement about class or society, or anything else for that matter. That entire stanza reminds me of deep-fried beaver pellets stuffed with chocolate ice-cream covered sardines. I mean yah, that's some impressive cooking. but who's gonna be satisfied? You have above average talent and obviously have your finger on the pulse of invisible forgotten realties, but you don't make enough sense. Again as an exercise in writing this gets a 10, but as far as being poetic it rates a 4.
Re: 9/11 by TheDevil	31-Aug-02/12:42 PM
The reason this poem stinks is because it says nothing. Nothing about the character who's expressing himself. Nothing about Osama and nothing about the U.S. It's simplistic and ignorant in it's structure. You could be talking about anybody or anything. I like Henry Ford/Henry ford's a damn cool guy/ Fuck riding a bike. Big deal. You want to push people's buttons? Do it with something of merit. You are boring.
Re: 9/11 by TheDevil	31-Aug-02/12:59 PM
I like Mickey Mouse/ Mickey's a damn cool mouse/ Fuck Magic Mountain.---I like The Devil/ The Devil's a damn cool guy/Fuck Yahweh to hell--- I like poemranker/ Poemranker's a damn cool thing/ Fuck poet.com to hell. and so on and so on.....Yawn.
Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus	31-Aug-02/1:07 PM
Much improved. Get rid of 'Is it' in line 3 and line 7,'it's' in line 11. Last line should echo first, 'DOES it resemble mine' Great you've done a terrific job of editing. Now the subject of the poem has a larger scope, and really could be anything. 8
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/3:15 PM
I have never apoligized for my poetry, forgotten or otherwise. Why are you so sensitive? I commented. Is this as good as it gets for you? Far from. All your remarks have been unhelpful and abusive, why is that? I mentioned Babbitt once. I have praised you a million times. Go figure.
Re: Women by Prosper	31-Aug-02/3:29 PM
Well written. The experience of reading it on the computer added to the poems authority. Each word revealing itself from the right margin is symbolic of the poem revealing the heroine bit by bit. And the heroine learning who she is step by step. Very pleasing and relivant.
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/4:07 PM
Back then, I wasn't praising your writings, I was praising you. I still do. You just keep losing yourself in everything around you, even in the words. Stop worrying, everything's going to be o.k. Let it go. Start making sense for yourself. Is writing or being an artist all you value? Your writing is more confused then it needs to be to maintain it's edge. Your life is confused. You have to make choices. I'm well aware of the shit that runs in my viens. The artist breed, but I will not let it ruin me. I'm not asking you to write differently. I'm suggesting you write more effectively, take it or leave it. Your extravaganze pauperizes you.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Aug-02/4:21 PM
Uncorrupted. Succinct.
Re: "Home" by Dreamer	31-Aug-02/4:28 PM
Needs editing.Typos and cumbersome phrasing.
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/4:32 PM
I help the ones that I can in my way that's the beauty of it. I have never named anyone as being unserious. Least of all you. Why are you attacking me?
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/4:40 PM
You've never even seen me read many times how could you possibly have seen me apoligize many times. You've seen me read what, 5 times at the most. You are mistaken.
Re: A journey to the sun by kawakurdi	31-Aug-02/4:51 PM
I was really getting into it and then the last stanza seemed comparetively immature. You're a good poet none the less.
Re: The Stifling Moment by vulcan	31-Aug-02/4:59 PM
I love this poem. I think it's 'wood' not woods.
Re: Billy Bytack Forces His Children To Sell Jesus by horus8	31-Aug-02/5:05 PM
You have not seen me ten times and I have no trouble with making mistakes, but you just can't bend the truth to make your point. You have no interest in helping me,(ergo, never having time for me let alone my poetry) as a poet, or a friend. Just look at the so called comments you left on my submissions. I'm not being righteous. I have never been such, and you know it. I have never held myself above anyone. My entire life revolves around that one fact. Think about who you're talking to. My user name has nothing to do with this.