Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

A journey to the sun (Free verse) by kawakurdi
Your eyes, inside the mirror's eye, Like a hawk, are hunting for an old look; A cigarette between your lips, tirelessly smokes your dreams; a handful of ashes; smell of scorching a shiver; no energy to tremble; the veins loosen, snap, drop. Cry without voice; Die without body; The nights drink themselves; The fast steps of time erase the traces of childhood A mirror emerges; It does not recognise itself Are you HER?! Your hair is a pair of old socks! Now a silent cleavage opens up Even now the sky, as broad as its vastness, Affords a meeting-point of sadness in your eyes Even now a violent downpour Can wash away the smoke of death in your ears. You have a chance to move your wings, you old hawk, Have a journey to the House of the Sun. What is wrong with this? You, too, have the right to swim inside a handful of salty tears; You, too, can strip naked inside the bedroom of your fantasies; You, too, can curse the bastards, You too can, like an old goose, Cleanse the sewage on your body, With the oil under your wings. You too can dig a little grave inside your ears And bury the body of fear You too can startle the heart of the wall With a scream!! You, old hawk, The prey of the predator, You are a happy meal for yourself You have carried the clouds on your shoulder And do not know where to downfall To become a handful of green patch, A sacred gift of love. You the victim of the gossip of this bitter candy You the sweet seed of bitter tree What did this society do to you? What did this rotten regime bring upon you? Don't shut the windows Twilight has something left in it, Nevermind they have locked your heart The eye of your mind is open Have hope, old hawk, Hooray, hooray, hooray You can move your wings And go away For a journey to the Sun.

Down the ladder: Fueled hearts

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 10
.. 01
.. 11
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.714286
Weighted score: 5.4610424
Overall Rank: 2856
Posted: August 31, 2002 1:42 PM PDT; Last modified: August 31, 2002 1:42 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[9] Venus @ 198.81.26.167 | 31-Aug-02/2:49 PM | Reply
Reminds me of a Third Eye Blind song called 'Wounded', which I really dig. Not sure about the 'Hooray, hooray, hooray' bit, but great images and overall I like it very much. 9/10
[7] god'swife @ 209.179.213.120 | 31-Aug-02/4:51 PM | Reply
I was really getting into it and then the last stanza seemed comparetively immature. You're a good poet none the less.
[n/a] kawakurdi @ | 1-Sep-02/3:31 AM | Reply
Thank you GW for your approval. The poem is a monologue in front of mirror by the woman/old hawk. The conclusion you are right seems premature but it expresses sudden realisation of the woman that she can move on and rebuild her life after a life marred by an experienec of rape. Perhaps the expression is not suitable enough to convey this message to the reader.
[n/a] vulcan @ 80.242.1.103 | 1-Sep-02/8:11 AM | Reply
Memorable lines"cry without voice
Die without body"liked it7
192 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001