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The Stifling Moment (Free verse) by vulcan The primroses'delirious scent,
Stale food's stink,
Father has hanged himself
Amidst the chairs' stare.
Like you come to a moon-haunted woods
All living things(as in conspiracy)hush.
Up the ladder:
Call of the Marine
Down the ladder:
Amputee
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.6
Posted: August 31, 2002 1:02 AM PDT; Last modified: August 31, 2002 1:02 AM PDTWeighted score: 6.3 Overall Rank: 872 Comments:
[8]
[mojo] @ 213.246.73.229
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31-Aug-02/2:42 AM
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Reply
I like it, can't put my finger on why. Is there a haiku in there struggling to get out? No, it probably couldn't be edited that far. Still, paints a vivid picture..8..(and a half if we had them)
I agree with Mojo, an air of ambiguity leaves asking why do I find this seemingly morbid piece so enrapturing
I love this poem. I think it's 'wood' not woods.
You yourself have written a mean dmamn pice of poetry here. You can hear that hush.
And sorry for 'dmamn' - I meant 'damn'. This is great anyway.
Holy shit this is strange. I need to read it a couple more times before I decide whether I like it or not. Good words, though. I'll give it an 8 for now, just because of the fifth line-'moon-haunted woods'-brilliant!
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