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Pedophile (Free verse) by Lenore
I know who you are you scum sucking freak! Your Daddy didn't love you he said you were weak. Your Mamma hid bruises and busted up bones, She left you in squalor with nobody home. Now your a big boy you hold all the power until you see Daddy, He still makes you cower. HA HA!! Your sick and your twisted you know that its true the urges come quickly you know what to do. How many kids before you are done? The F.B.I.'s coming fucker---- How fast can you run?

Up the ladder: 'The Grey' Triplet
Down the ladder: .:|bittersweet|:.

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.5
Weighted score: 5.25
Overall Rank: 3946
Posted: August 29, 2002 6:15 AM PDT; Last modified: August 29, 2002 9:15 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] god'swife @ 209.179.212.229 | 29-Aug-02/9:41 AM | Reply
This is really poignant. No joke. You've got the elements and the child being twisted into a monster and then hated by society is sad reality. I work with at risk youth. It's so complicated. I look in some of their eye's sometimes and just for a second there's this flash of knowing it's over for them. Some of the lines are still too simple. I think you could do more with this one. 7
[n/a] Lenore @ | 29-Aug-02/9:56 AM | Reply
Thank you. Which lines? I'd be interested in any suggestions.
[7] god'swife @ 209.179.212.229 | 29-Aug-02/10:05 AM | Reply
It's complicated because you've set up a rythmn. I think you would have to start a completely different poem, maybe a companion to this one. Don't worry about the rhymning or the rythmn. Right down some images some genuine Lenore thoughts about the subject. Then we can work them out. Be sincere with yourself. Imagine the situation and react to it in a real way. Unfortunately I have to get off. I'm going on a trip. But i'll be back in 3 days. I'd love to see what you come up with just raw and unstylized. Talk with you then.
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 29-Aug-02/11:09 AM | Reply
As fast as kevin spacey. 7/10!0
[6] anagram @ 195.92.194.15 | 29-Aug-02/6:27 PM | Reply
Yeah thought provoking,not bad.Spelling's a bit criminal though.
[5] little_big_nose @ 209.23.41.7 | 9-Jan-04/4:18 PM | Reply
i just hope you know that all people make mistakes, and just cuz they didn't turn out in the end doesn't mean they didn't have a good family
[9] Stephen Robins @ 213.146.148.199 | 7-Feb-07/4:28 AM | Reply
brave and contradictory.
[3] T. Jonathron Remp @ ::1 | 17-Oct-17/3:18 PM | Reply
If native plainsmen considered this poem to be a 12th elemental construct of reality, I would annihilate their genetic lineage entire with a hydrogen bomb -3-
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