Re: At The Edge of Sleep by GregDeEgg	29-Feb-04/5:38 PM
hey, not bad. not bad at all.
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Mar-04/12:35 PM
These words have iron.
Re: Timmy by richa	2-Mar-04/10:18 AM
sod[s]? I like the cadence of this very much - for me it's the subtle rhyme with talk/part, which was worth repeating. But what is it with Tims and holes? http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=79557
Re: Early Morning by fevriere	2-Mar-04/10:57 AM
I like the accentuation of key words with the capitalization, and if you did that on purpose, then I'm fine, too, with the punctuation. Though I know that some will be put off by it - hey this is not sculpting (despite the similarities); where we can't ignore the laws of physics and invent materials and have them hover over the piece blinking in and out from multiple dimensions - this is poetry. And we can very easily fuck with those "laws". So, having said that I like the mechanics of it - I'm a bit put off by the first line, and therefore the rational for the rest. I just don't believe this dumbing-down of god-like sensations to a human level (and this is from a guy who doesn't believe in god). I think it's fixable by making it a lesser diety (stick an article in there), and maybe by shading the perspective a little (not sure exactly how to do that). I may be the only one bothered by it, dunno - it still could appeal to a broader audience. extra points for style.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Mar-04/6:01 PM
Not feelin this one. sorry.
Re: Uncle Sam Is Dead by Lenore	2-Mar-04/6:02 PM
Gawd. That's long. I know, you get that alot.
Re: Cutters Part II The Recut (Limerick Triplet) by Shardik	2-Mar-04/6:03 PM
"stepped upon a landmina." - okay, thats brilliant. The rest, gradually less so - but still a -10- if ever I saw one.
Re: I Remember Thinking by BrandonW	2-Mar-04/6:04 PM
excellent (period, full fucking stop).
Re: where to go by AskittlesK	2-Mar-04/6:06 PM
Immediately turned off by seein "Purple" and "hazey" together - but I'll keep reading... hmmm. I like the last two lines - but I still don't know what it was about.
Re: Pop the Pill by etherealmaiden	2-Mar-04/6:07 PM
Was liking it until "My reality's blurred " then it lost its charm.
regarding some deleted poem...	3-Mar-04/7:43 PM
I had to fix that first stanza - it was driving me nuts.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Mar-04/5:49 AM
"vituperation" - good word. clever poem[e]
Re: I could rule myself by fevriere	7-Mar-04/7:36 AM
very nice: "My touch is toxic and abundant", and I like much of the other descriptions, too. The lack of enjambment... I don't think it does much for you in this case. And I agree with half of what Zodiac says, and I'm fine with "ouverture"
Re: Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT	7-Mar-04/7:41 AM
I'm fine up to "I wretched", and you throwing a pineapple slice - that's just sad, IT. The reader ends up feeling more pity for the author. I'm fine with the prosthetic wielding lady, that is at least an interesting vignette.
Re: metahaiku by ex0teric	7-Mar-04/8:14 AM
five, seven then five - do you need an abacus? I counted this thrice.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Mar-04/12:23 PM
oh - wow, there's a typo too. crap.
Re: Metametahaiku by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	7-Mar-04/6:32 PM
Apparently.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Mar-04/7:59 PM
Doh! It rocked right up to the very last fricken line! second to last line if you meant "prose" and not "pros" inserting the "chances", indicating a random element is completely incongrous - plus it just sounds *wrong* sticking heaven in there suddenly. I wish very much that you fix those last two lines - the thing is awesome otherwise.
Re: Causation by fevriere	10-Mar-04/7:35 AM
Is not too bad, really. I hesitate slightly at some of the rhymes (arrive and alive) in particular and a couple grammar issues (...essay fast - fast wants to be an adverb and is not) - and I'm usually pretty easy going with that kind of thing in poetry. It does a nice job at conveying the loss
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Mar-04/7:56 AM
A nicely done character vignette. moulinet? Are you using it like a verb as in he swung his arm around (as if it were a sword)? Prolly could do without the diluting effect of "all over" and "Navarra" I know Hemingway and Michener refer to it, but I assoiciate it with a region in spain... a place where the capital is Pamplona... where they run the bulls! Do you mean it like a Pamplonan Bull???