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20 most recent comments by impert&ent
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Re: tanka(4) by shadows 20-Aug-05/12:15 PM
I see some lines I like.
Some lines I'd like to play with too.

Re: tanka(1) by shadows 20-Aug-05/12:19 PM
I like bits of this a lot, but overall it's a bit too matter-of-fact. Takes away some of the metaphors that might be brewing.
Re: orange crumble by impert&ent 25-Aug-05/11:59 PM
after tanks(4)
regarding some deleted poem... 26-Aug-05/12:14 AM
Is this really free verse?
Mostly very good. I think you could do better with the last line. It's too trite for the rest of the poem. Overall, I like the way you've managed the transition from affectionate domesticity to shocked betrayal. I can see why you'd then focus on the feelings of disbelief, but I don't think you've captured it so well. The last two stanzas are not so powerful as those preceding, and the last line doesn't do justice to any of what came before. There's got to be more going on in your tangled thoughts and feelings. I was hoping to hear more.
Re: Tarragon by D. $ Fontera 26-Aug-05/12:24 AM
Nice evocations of cooking throughout - but for the line about hips. So I'm thinking of a substitute for chassés that involves a stirring, a rolling, a grinding.
Re: The Trees in Spring (edit) by Sasha 29-Aug-05/1:44 AM
Well conceived, I like the line of thought.
Each stanza presemnts a clear idea in the development of an overall insight.

The phrasing feels a bit awkward, but it may just be the number of syllables and the structure of a sonnet. The only thing I can see to change is the 'they' and Theirs' in 2nd and 3rd stanzas. There is a hint of subject/object disagreement that could be clarified.
Re: Nowhere Land by Caducus 21-Sep-05/9:37 AM
There's much to like in this, but there are a couple of loose ends too. I like the imagery and the metaphors. But I don't get the "robins staff", and think the focus changes in the last line, and leaves the thing unresolved. If the staff were a coat hook, it would make sense to me, given that your coat is the rain.

As for the last line, you may set spectacular, but in a solitary land of your own rather than nowhere. But why focus on yourself at the end, given that up to that point the focus is on her and the love?
Re: Random Sandwich, or, The Scavenger's Chocolate Wrapper by impert&ent 20-Nov-05/9:17 AM
A collage of snippets from the first lines of the last 13 poems to appear on Poemranker's RSS feed. Neither random nor contrived, this pick of the litter/litter-picker's approach to composition reflects the momentary ambience of poemranker.
regarding some deleted poem... 26-Dec-05/2:02 PM
Nice tone. I appreciate the subtle humor.
Re: SMS by daniella 23-Apr-06/3:41 PM
That's just what I was thinking.
regarding some deleted poem... 6-Jun-08/2:52 AM
I'll give you a 10 for the use of tractor in your title. and a -9 for the rest of it.
Re: Taste Ghazni by eliastemplar 6-Jun-08/2:54 AM
Re: Deep Translation by T. Jonathron Remp 24-Jan-16/7:54 AM
Skating with the rays
Shellfishing suits trackwise trainers
Re: Synchronicity by Prince of Void 24-Jan-16/7:57 AM
... alors
même que
Re: And on and on and on by nentwined 26-Aug-16/8:08 AM
Something a bit repetitive here, and title not evocative of the imagery
Re: Celui by half.italian 26-Aug-16/8:09 AM
Celui? Ce lui? Anyhow, nice evocation of a once in a lifetime fuck.
Re: Embrace the Politics by impert&ent 26-Feb-17/5:38 PM
Stewart Stacy
Re: Everybody's Gone by impert&ent 10-Jun-20/5:25 PM
Poemranker you are still here
in spite of that lousy security exception
nearly two years after I last visited.

What is that about?
How do you manage?
Fucking ghost ship, wandering the highways,
playing sneak attack on the pilgrim tourists
Straddling the dusty road like some forlorn and has-been movie set
Cast off from the realities of TV and film production
Lonely ghost town ISO lonesome highway for romance and possible LTR.
Re: Days of Silence (1-196) by impert&ent 14-Jun-20/7:28 AM
Poemranker was silent between February 15, 2019 and March 13, 2020. We had nothing to say for 390 days. I have filled that gap with one-line poems to make 56 weekly stanzas. We are now whole again.

This is the first 28 weeks.
Re: Days of Silence (197-392) by impert&ent 14-Jun-20/2:38 PM
Poemranker was silent between February 15, 2019 and March 13, 2020. We had nothing to say for 390 days. I have filled that gap with one-line poems to make 56 weekly stanzas. We are now whole again.

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