Re: early morning write by crimzon	27-Jan-03/4:34 PM
I liked the simplicity and the flow, which is why your choice of the word "aesthetically" threw off the mood for me a little bit. It sounds long and choppy and sterile compared the the rest of the verse. The middle four line stumble a little over extra syllables, but overall, you created a beautiful picture for me. Here's an 8 for ya.
Re: a comment on Afterglow by Imperfections	27-Jan-03/4:22 PM
oops! I accidentally deleted a really constructive comment from zzinnia66. You're right about that last line. It does nothing for the meaning, I put it there more or less to even out the rhythem. I'll have to work on a new way to end that thought.
Re: a comment on Afterglow by Imperfections	27-Jan-03/4:08 PM
You're right about the last line. I thought it evened out the rhythem, but it really doesn't do much for the meaning. I'll have to think of a new way to end that thought.
Re: In This Room by GregDeEgg	24-Jan-03/12:53 AM
Simple, devoid of all angsty feeling. Wonderfully refreshheing after a slew of bitter, cynical, arrogant pity parties that some people try to call "poetry"
Re: Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet	24-Jan-03/12:43 AM
Rough around the edges, but not at all abrasive when read. Runs smoothly. Like it a lot.
Re: Snowblind by horus8	24-Jan-03/12:37 AM
Something about your word choice makes me conjure up images powerful enough to induce nausea. I mean that as a compliment, of course.
Re: Together Forever by Sarahmarie	21-Jan-03/11:10 PM
Good work, my favorite of what I have read of yours. I like where you put "the phone rings" line, it does a good job of both dividing and connecting your thoughts.
Re: Never Alone at Night by Limness	21-Jan-03/10:57 PM
oops ... I meant to say "that last 'line'", not "night" ... you get my drift
Re: Never Alone at Night by Limness	21-Jan-03/10:55 PM
This poem was only a 7 or 8 for me until that last night. You really changed the tone with that line. You see your own indulgent angst, and you connect with the reader on that note. I agree, you know exactly wo you are.
Re: she said by Bill Z Bub	21-Jan-03/10:49 PM
Love this. However, I think the "yearning souls" take you away from your point. Unless I am all wrong, and that is exactly the point you're trying to make, sneaky you :)
Re: making progress (a piece of it) by Limness	21-Jan-03/10:27 PM
Haunting. Reminds me a little of a little of a Third Eye Blind lyric: I couldn't define what you're getting at, but I definitely feel you.
Re: 2 weeks and a day by Bill Z Bub	21-Jan-03/10:02 PM
No frills, striaght-forward, "rough," if you will. I couldn't pull it off, however you did it amazingly.
Re: Triangle of the Courtyard Square by OneFingerAnswer	21-Jan-03/9:53 PM
Nice play on words/images with the sqaure and triangle