DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Afterglow

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 Jan 2003 · 4 comments

Long after the burn in my eyes from the words that you said and the burn in my thighs from the night in your bed fades away, your voice still plays like a song in my head through the day.

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mean 6.25 weighted 5.15 rank 5227 views 155 View voting details →

4 votes so far. Yours would make 5.4 votes so far

4 comments

[8] wOrnella Mutiw 24-Jan-03/1:52 AM Reply

nice...8

[n/a] Imperfections › wOrnella Mutiw 27-Jan-03/4:22 PM Reply

oops! I accidentally deleted a really constructive comment from zzinnia66. You're right about that last line. It does nothing for the meaning, I put it there more or less to even out the rhythem. I'll have to work on a new way to end that thought.

[n/a] <~> › Imperfections 27-Jan-03/4:35 PM Reply

you could end it with an ellipsis, as though the thought is still lingering on...

[7] Bill Z Bub 24-Jan-03/3:05 PM Reply

a burning sensation in the thigh region? You should see a doctor.
seriously though, not bad
so far.