| Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof |
16-Jun-03/2:57 PM |
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| Re: She Thinks Of Men Waiting by Christof |
16-Jun-03/2:58 PM |
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| Re: The Thought Of It by Christof |
16-Jun-03/3:00 PM |
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Again, you amaze me, incredible awareness here, really.
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| Re: Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT |
17-Jun-03/11:28 AM |
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"in ) = ( * ^^ @ # > | ) = // &" with "in the reptile section" maybe even change "in " to "from".
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| Re: An Invitation From Poetry.com by scitz |
17-Jun-03/11:37 AM |
"then had a fit" change to "then had a salad" for some reson I would of just died upon reading that, but that just me, this is a point for our side for sure, nice one.
Did I tell you about the time in my "who I'd like to thank letter" to poetry.com I actually wrote in "bigbrother bullshit publishing companys that actually have the nerve to put together compendiums of poetry, basically, destroying the identity of the poets to the poems of the masses.", and do you know what? Those motherfuckers are so out to lunch, they printed it.
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| Re: Blue Tarp by hotwire |
17-Jun-03/11:41 AM |
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A wolf in sheeps clothing. sucker, but a brilliant pimple poem none the less have siete and shoe
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| Re: The Bastard Earth by Kitch |
17-Jun-03/11:47 AM |
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Some really intense sections, but then you fumble, and on top of that it's fat, no sweat, all of my early work was fat too, better fat that skin for the winter is what I say, but an important point I can help you with here is try not to allow synthetic hate to warp your ideas, in other words, hate what you know for sure, then apply that to what you want and imagine thematicly, not vice versa, otherwise it comes out on the paper sounding like a flat can of cheese wiz and contrived. I see much promise here though, I want you to know that.
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| Re: The Bastard Earth by Kitch |
17-Jun-03/11:51 AM |
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Did you read about the bishop in Phoenix, Arizona? Hit and run, drunk, (pedestrian) left the body there and went home with a shattered windshield...Coincidentaly, he was one of the kiddy foddler priests indicted last year, YES! Moments like these baby I just lick my lips red.
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| Re: The Contract (2nd draft) by scitz |
17-Jun-03/11:57 AM |
"Written from the quills of laughing Angels,
Who fuck our lives up because their bored." Lose this line, it's ridiculous, if you believe thjat you're insane. combine the word intransit, "It's" you have as its "a politician" change to in politicians, "insecurity" pluralize and "infinity" change to everything. Then, my friend, you'll have it.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Jun-03/12:01 PM |
"It takes a sensitive one,
To see the peace in a flattened nose" wow, and on that note I'm done here for now, it's time to scrub various dirty things me thinks, around the igloo.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Jun-03/12:09 PM |
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"love must loss' you're crazy, you crack me up. With your silly titles.
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| Re: Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT |
17-Jun-03/4:08 PM |
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Ah yes, my cigerette, crushed by the bitch in red and high heels.
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| Re: Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT |
17-Jun-03/4:10 PM |
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ha! somebody 1 you, fucking bastards, pimple juiced your dockers!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Jun-03/4:24 PM |
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Yep, I'm sure being cussed at by a retard will make her see the err in her ways.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Jun-03/4:25 PM |
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I did however give you three points for the line "rape my shine" which I believe to be a most excellent of ideas.
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| Re: Shut Up (Angry Progression) by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
17-Jun-03/4:32 PM |
"But the other half is smarter than that
Oh wait! Did I say that?" it's great up until here, than it pooters out. replace that with "You're lucky I'm on vacation" or something to that effect. It shows possibility and humor, both of which you need in a piece like this.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Jun-03/8:59 PM |
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"i cant say your safe." Yep. You can safely say that again.
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| Re: Refulgent by INTRANSIT |
18-Jun-03/10:13 AM |
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| Re: Sex with a hairy brazilian by scitz |
18-Jun-03/10:30 AM |
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| Re: Sex with a hairy brazilian by scitz |
18-Jun-03/10:36 AM |
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