Re: a comment on Burst! by INTRANSIT	19-May-03/7:31 PM
Oh, wait, I read it again. I think I got it. "do a little dance andthendrink a little wata"
Re: a comment on Choose by joydoll	19-May-03/7:26 PM
Yeah, that was a freaky but cool movie.
Re: Burst! by INTRANSIT	19-May-03/7:23 PM
There's certainly a sense of power here, but I don't get the last three lines.
Re: a comment on may 18 by Bill Z Bub	19-May-03/7:13 PM
Thank ya kindly! But I've changed it again! What do you think now?
Re: a comment on may 18 by Bill Z Bub	19-May-03/4:17 PM
Yeah, I'm not satisfied with the ending. Or the beginning, for that matter. I added the final two lines on the fifth edit here, because it needed something to sew it up. Hmm.
Re: John Denver's hang-glider by horus8	19-May-03/4:06 PM
Great stuff. "All fine examples of secret movement." Here's a tenner. Don't spend it all in one place.
Re: a comment on may 18 by Bill Z Bub	19-May-03/9:05 AM
Oops! I meant GAUZE, not gauss. Gauss is a german mathematician. Gauze is a thin transparent fabric with a loose weave. I wish I knew her reasoning too.
Re: a comment on may 18 by Bill Z Bub	18-May-03/8:38 PM
Hey Intransit. Yeah, this one is a little enigmatic I suppose. You should have seen the first draft! Every re-write it gets a little clearer, I think I'm closing in on something... I hope someone out there will get it, but dammit it's my own fault for being so damn obscure sometimes. I've already edited this 4 times tonight, so come back later, I'll have cleared up a few mysteries I hope. But in the meantime, I hope the words are enjoyable on their own, even if the larger meaning is encrypted. I'm trying to find an equilibrium. Some words I use for the beauty and cadence, and strange levels of meaning. Style/content... and even a bit of form, Simple language rearranged into strange orders, juxtaposed with shards of an image, arranged and ordered. I read it aloud and try to feel the rhythm... the sound, the images... And someday I hope to succeed on all levels. Someday. **** (Was that pretentious enough?
Re: If this isn't plagiarism I don't know what is... by Yardbird	18-May-03/7:40 PM
Guess what? This isn't plagiarism! Why not? Because you wrote "by William Shakespeare" at the end. You didn't try to pass it off as your own. Now that's what I call irony.
Re: a comment on Endure by Felzpoet	18-May-03/7:26 PM
And if you're still pissed at me, feel free to critique one of my pieces. Hack it up.
Re: a comment on Endure by Felzpoet	18-May-03/7:22 PM
I understand. Believe me, I understand. But that doesn't make it a good poem. But that's just one dude's opinion. You need imagery that's a little more original, is all.
Re: a comment on Endure by Felzpoet	18-May-03/6:10 PM
Good one. But seriously, "heart turn to ice"? stabbed with a knife? I need you and me to be? It's an eggtray of bad cliche. But keep writing, ya gotta start somewhere.
Re: a comment on Let Me Breathe by Felzpoet	18-May-03/5:59 PM
On second thought, sometimes I'm just too kind. (How's THAT for arrogance?)
Re: Endure by Felzpoet	18-May-03/5:55 PM
why.
Re: Let Me Breathe by Felzpoet	18-May-03/5:54 PM
The breathy bits are okay, but this piece needs some clearasil, STAT! (Don't mind the arrogance, it's just the thing to do) ;)
Re: a comment on Hardest Thing by Felzpoet	18-May-03/4:55 PM
Yep, that's what I see too. Just checking.
Re: Recipe for Regaining Youth by Blade	18-May-03/4:32 PM
Sick.
Re: Hardest Thing by Felzpoet	18-May-03/4:24 PM
What do you see when you read this poem?
Re: I am your pea by Figure 8	28-Apr-03/12:08 AM
Zounds. I like it!
Re: a comment on deleted scenes by Bill Z Bub	27-Apr-03/6:20 PM
I hate Linkin Park. But I do love limeade. How did you know?