Re: a comment on George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	16-May-06/6:55 AM
A fair point, although after poemranker I will always feel that Jim Bob is just a second-rate offering to Bobjim.
Re: a comment on Tin Can Longings by phoenixxx	16-May-06/5:36 AM
You can't - there's no 'edit comment' button. And, let's face it, that's probably a good thing. Nobody credible is going to criticise typos in comments.
Re: Pot Haikus (Ode to Stoners) by Shardik	16-May-06/5:33 AM
One of the funniest things I've read all week!
Re: a comment on Mid-July by Ranger	16-May-06/5:32 AM
Yeah, I thought Poe took his time ranting over that damn bird too.
Re: Peeping Through The Window by Edna Sweetlove	16-May-06/5:28 AM
Lear was like a god to me when I was younger, so limericks always seem to lack something without illustrations. But please don't submit a picture with this one. Pussy/juicy? I'd rather have seen front/blunt.
Re: Plastic Posies by BleedingRose	16-May-06/4:44 AM
This is damn funny, there are a few rhythmic inconsistencies but if they were ironed out this would be excellent. And for the first time in years I don't mind the rhyme of heart/part, for that you get bonus points.
Re: a comment on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	16-May-06/4:34 AM
Edited, still not happy with it but it'll progress. I plan to take the first stanza and selected lines from elsewhere to make a crucifixion poem too, particularly given what Imp told me about 'tree' also meaning the cross on which Christ died.
Re: a comment on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	16-May-06/2:46 AM
That's okay, I think this one will evolve in gentle stages. I'm really trying to find out how far I can stretch the reader without losing them. As it stands, it's way wide of the mark.
Re: a comment on George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	15-May-06/5:39 PM
And I had the unnerving feeling that you were going to include a line that ended with 'front'. Can't think what you might rhyme it with though...
Re: George and Samson by Edna Sweetlove	15-May-06/5:36 PM
Having just borne witness to your incredible roundup of the limericks on here, the least I can do is leave a comment on one of your poems. And here it is: This poem is a golden opportunity to rhyme 'Samson' with 'ram some'. I'll leave you to decide what was rammed, and where.
Re: a comment on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	15-May-06/1:48 PM
Yeah, the cuckoo's supposed to reflect the out-of-mind state, but also being among the apples (bitter spheres) like a cuckoo is in another bird's nest (eggs). I need to fix that bit, make it clearer, it does have meaning but not one that's brought out well enough just yet. This is a very experimental draft. Frustrating as hell though, I sort of know what I want to say and how I want to say it...but the translation on paper just doesn't work. Ah well, we can but hope.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	15-May-06/1:45 PM
Ah, okay - agreed the italics would work better in this instance. It's much clearer with 'will' instead of 'would'. I got your message by the way - am busy writing on there at the moment, but I will reply asap.
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	15-May-06/10:43 AM
Nice work. There's a typo in line 12, and I don't like the capitalisation of 'she' toward the end; it could just be the font, but generally speaking I'm not a fan of capitalisation for emphasis. It's usually unnecessary. The other thing is that I remember ecargo saying to me in one of my poems that the rhymes were somewhat distracting - I think the same applies here. On my reading it would have gone a little more smoothly without the rhymes. Others may disagree though. That's the nitpicks done, now for the credit. The story is very well told, concise but not vague - which isn't easy to achieve. It's very tactile as well; I can see the scenes pretty clearly. Question: the last line - 'would'. Being conditional, I'm a little confused as to this. It seems that there's something preventing her asking (almost like he's dead) but up till then there was nothing to suggest such an eventuality. Might it work better as 'will'?
Re: a comment on grim task by lmp	15-May-06/9:23 AM
Did you spend even thirty seconds reading the poem?
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	15-May-06/7:52 AM
Strangely enough it's now a different shape to the version I saw a few minutes ago, yet my vote is still there. It looks better like this, more symmetrical at least. I've made it my life's goal never to work in an office.
Re: a comment on Mannequin by Roisin	15-May-06/7:31 AM
I think you edited this straight after I posted, hence the vote not showing. If I'm honest, it was easier to read in it's first version - is this meant as an image (I'm a little slow today, bear with me if I don't get it instantly)? It's a neat little look at the way we build our lives according to social trends, and not always having any depth to them. At least, that's how I read it.
Re: Mannequin by Roisin	15-May-06/7:16 AM
I titled a poem 'Mannequin'. It wasn't as catchy as this though.
Re: The Queen Mum - A Tribute by Edna Sweetlove	14-May-06/10:01 AM
She may have been an evil old goat, but then again we're not noted for churning out good, benevolent and just royalty. Besides, Gordon's is part of the national heritage; for them to go out of business would be like losing the World Cup. Oh, wait...
Re: a comment on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	13-May-06/10:46 AM
Yeah, it's not very clear at the moment. I think I'll fix reference with the apples and go back to the tried-and-tested fairytale style and be a bit more direct. I've put too much stock in puns recently. Too much to make for effecive poetry, anyway.
Re: Return to Marrakech by Caducus	13-May-06/5:06 AM
Looking decent on first view; the football's about to start though so I won't stay long. Will return later to read it more thoroughly and maybe pick up some inspiration. Lord knows I need it at the moment.