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Tin Can Longings (Free verse) by phoenixxx
Tin can longings Its a quarter past two When I see you across our alley In your red and yellow room So I pick up that old tin can Where we used to rendezvous And share my secret longings On our telephone with you Sure, one hundred years have past Since we made that alley home And everything has changed On those streets we used to roam And yeah, a decade's come and gone And my childhood's left alone And, oh a hundred years ago If yesterday we'd known We talked tonight on the tin can phone Shared our world beneath the stars And memories have come and gone To Jupiter, to Mars And yeah, our childhood is gone And we're wishing from afar But I am always with you now No matter where you are.

Up the ladder: Disappear
Down the ladder: Eternal Sleep

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 31
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.3846154
Weighted score: 3.8190591
Overall Rank: 13483
Posted: June 12, 2003 1:34 PM PDT; Last modified: June 12, 2003 1:34 PM PDT
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Comments:
[10] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.178.126.155 | 16-May-06/5:28 AM | Reply
Nostalhic but spoiled by using the repulsive non-word "yeah". I'd have given it 8/10, but with 2 "yeahs" there is a price to be paid: 2/10.
[10] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.178.126.155 > Edna Sweetlove | 16-May-06/5:29 AM | Reply
My apologies for mis-spelling "nostalgic" but I can't see how to correct my typo.
[n/a] Ranger @ 62.252.32.15 > Edna Sweetlove | 16-May-06/5:36 AM | Reply
You can't - there's no 'edit comment' button. And, let's face it, that's probably a good thing. Nobody credible is going to criticise typos in comments.
[10] Edna Sweetlove @ 81.179.115.207 | 11-Jun-06/6:02 PM | Reply
utter horseturd
191 view(s)




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